Meenzer

Still can't figure out why Newcastle Airport can't support a cheap route to somewhere in Germany. There's only Düsseldorf with Lufthansa IIRC, and that's not much good for anybody (though I suppose it puts you within an hour or two of a few canny teams).

Say you had a visitor making their first trip to Newcastle and you had maybe 1 or 2 hours, max, to show them around town. What sights would you include/what route would you take?

I liked the "He should go back to Germany" barb. Completely ignoring the fact he has been called Phil the Greek for years. Nice line coming from an Egyptian, too.

Tune. Now on to Jacques Brel - Tango funèbre. I'm bringing the big beats this morning.

Fidel Castro announces retirement Cuba's ailing leader Fidel Castro has announced he will not return to the presidency, in a letter published by official Communist Party paper, Granma. "I neither will aspire to, nor will I accept, the position of president of the council of state and commander in chief," he wrote in the letter. Mr Castro handed over power temporarily to his brother, Raul, in July 2006 when he underwent intestinal surgery. The 81-year-old has ruled Cuba since leading a communist revolution in 1959. In December, Mr Castro indicated that he might possibly step down in favour of younger leaders, saying "my primary duty is not to cling to any position". Soon afterwards, Raul Castro appeared to suggest that his older brother still had an important political role to play, saying the president still had full use of his mental faculties and was being consulted on all important policy issues. 'No saying farewell' In the letter, published on Granma's website during the middle of the night in Cuba, Mr Castro said he would not accept another five-year term as president when the National Assembly meets on Sunday, because of the health problems. "It would betray my conscience to take up a responsibility that requires mobility and total devotion, that I am not in a physical condition to offer," he wrote. However, Mr Castro insisted he was "not saying farewell". "I just want to carry on fighting like a soldier of ideas," he added. "I will continue writing under the title, Reflections of Comrade Fidel." "I will be one more weapon in the arsenal that you can count on. Perhaps my voice will be heard. I will be careful." The National Assembly is widely expected to elect 76-year-old Raul Castro as his successor, although analysts say there is speculation about a possible generational jump with Vice-President Carlos Large, 56, a leading contender. The BBC's Michael Voss in Havana says nobody knows whether Mr Castro's decision not to seek another five-year term has been prompted by a decline in his health - it has been an official secret since the moment he was taken ill. The president has not been seen in public for 18 months, although the government occasionally releases photographs and pre-edited video of him meeting visiting leaders from around the world. Last month, Mr Castro was shown talking to his Brazilian counterpart, Luiz Inacio Lula da Silva, who described him as being lucid and in good health. Our correspondent says, Mr Castro will leave a mixed legacy - both friend and foe recognise him as an iconic leader and major figure in the post-war era.

Alberie Hadërgjonaj - Të dua zemër, ty të dua

Tell her to take a flak jacket now the Kosovo shit is well and truly kicking off. It's in mid-to-late May, anyway - should hopefully be there myself if the fella's exam timetable doesn't get in the way. We'll no doubt be occupying an outside table at Snežana on Knez Mihailova for the duration of the week if she's still about and wants to come and share a Pizza Serbiana or a few shots of rakija or something. You don't know anyone with an apartment to let, actually, do you?

Everyone's "Low" for me except Patraaaackles ("Medium", pretty much as expected) and Besty ("Very Low"). And no I'm not joining.

I reckon most bands/singers would say yes if the Beeb came to them and said "no rules, fuck the results, you can sing what you want, it's 3 minutes of prime-time global TV exposure and a two-week paid-up booze cruise to somewhere sunny and foreign in May". It's just the insistence of having a national final where you'll get beaten by some Dancing On Ice reject or something that tends to spoil things.

When you're next in London, give me a shout and I'll chaperone you on a trip to G.A.Y. Bar. You'll need protection from the lecherous old men, but the video jukebox will make you orgasm repeatedly even without the touch of a grubby gaylord in the cubicles.

And you'd feel empty and unfulfilled if I didn't set 'em up for you. Who'd have thought it, a symbiotic relationship to die for!

Do you know, I almost wrote something similar as a fake reply to my original post, then I decided that even you and SMO might show a bit of originality for once and avoid the obvious comment. So much for that idea.

Ditto. Quite good for finding local gigs too. Wouldn't want it to supersede the "What are you listening to?" thread on here though, obviously.

Meat Puppets - Meat Puppets II

Cuh. Anyone would think I was the only one on here who cared.

I've just seen the line-up for this year's UK Eurovision final. That bloke who came second to Shayne Ward in the X Factor, two of the lasses who weren't good enough to be in Girls Aloud, one of the failed Josephs, one of the failed Marias (the Romanian one), some Alan McGee-backed retro girl group, and bloody Michelle Gayle off Eastenders circa 1994. And we wonder why the Eastern Europeans always beat us

The residue of a can of Kopparberg from last night and a fuckload of caffeine.

Twelve and Holding Not quite as obviously touting for controversy as the director's debut "L.I.E." (though I suppose not every film can feature a jovial paedo who's the pillar of the local community), but it still manages to cover pyromania, child-on-child violence, Lolita syndrome and clinical obesity, so that should push a few people's buttons. Couple of obvious plot flaws offset by some surprisingly decent kid acting, and all in all I was quite taken by the atmosphere of the whole thing.

In my experience, TicketWeb are the "best" of the ticketing sites in terms of applying less extortionate charges than Ticketmaster or See Tickets (for example), though it's still a bit of a rip-off. Obviously lots of events only go through one ticketing site though.

Uhm...

Aye, see, you used to be the school captain and the alpha male in a small pond, so you never had to worry about not getting your own way. Now that you're getting older, fatter and uglier just like the rest of us, though...

"yes"

Ahh, fond memories of watching Last Crusade with my host family in Hamburg, young kids and all. "It's a family film", I said. I probably should have remembered the less-than-favourable portrayal of the Germans throughout.

Now you're talking. I was going to get that until I realised I've got most of the tracks already, so I ordered the missing two albums for about four quid each instead. Fine stuff.

Also, jams = inherently rubbish.