Meenzer

Homophobe.

This: Any residual cool that may still have is, however, instantly eradicated by the fact that this was my first single: Not even that release, either; I had (and still have) the limited edition with the results of that year's World Championships on the back and a charming photo of Joe Johnson on the front.

I'll often try to "in" friends as "skirtlifters" if I think they're behaving dangerously straight.

I never said a word. It was just an experiment to see if the obsessives would come. Experiment successful, I think. Pssht. If I posted a story about two gay dwarves getting it on in the bushes without any comment on my part, I'd still expect SMO and Wacky to turn up within seconds. That's no achievement.

Tesco had carrots reduced to nowt, so I'm making soup for lunch (and beyond). The bags the carrots came in boast the handy advice "Use in soups or enjoy as a tasty snack!" When did we become so retarded that we need to be told what is and isn't a "tasty snack", for fuck's sake?

I'd love to see the Daily Mail's "Our taxes are all going to immigrants, asylum seekers, paedophiles and disabled lesbians " headlines if the government of the day ever tried it...

There's a bunch of Italian teenagers on some exchange thing at Goldsmiths College at the minute, which is where I go to the gym. While I realise they're hardly going to get dolled up to kick a football around a field in Sahf Lahndan inbetween exciting cultural events, some of the fashion sense on display is an absolute shocker. Not as bad as the French, mind. Luminous backpacks ahoy!

I've always just assumed that Leazes agreed with the board on those points.

Tennis is for gay people and women. Not being prejudiced just stating a fact. What about those ex forces compratriots of yours who do the sentry duties That would be a duty. They are paid to be there. they are all volunteers, as well you [probably] know DO you want to do guard duty, Clean vehicles, first aid courses, NBC courses. Or go to wimbledon for 3 weeks? Anyone who refuses to choose the loafing option because he thinks it'll make him look like a real man is clearly not a real man.

A retro edition of I'm Sorry I Haven't A Clue on the Radio 4 iPlayer.

Well I suppose it's better than being a circumflex.

Well that's next year's Eurovision entry sorted.

I quite liked that.

Even by your standards, fucking hell man Suddenly I'm doubly glad we won't be near neighbours.

Phew, we won't quite be neighbours. Good luck with it all though. If you need someone to guide you round the wacky world of soft furnishings at IKEA Croydon...

You don't really get that with trains, no. And booking early is definitely the way to go, either way. EDIT: Although many operators - NXEC (ex-GNER), for example - only release their cheap tickets 3 months beforehand, say, so there are limits on "early" too. Actually, the whole thing sucks baals.

Ding ding! Godwin's law is achieved in 74. Good work everyone, same time same place tomorrow?

Lad done good. He'll probably get raped off Nadal, but still.

Does that mean you won't if I'm not?

I said nothing of the sort. You're obsessed, man.

Or before someone comes along and brings the frivolity crashing to the ground by making a tedious point about falling exam standards.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/education/7481715.stm A friend of mine once answered a GCSE question by drawing a picture of a man holding a sign saying "EAT CHEESE". I wonder if he'd have got 1/27 for that (or 2/27 with punctuation, naturally).

And I WikiQuote: Inspired writing or what?

Dead Famous is shite too. Or rather the characterisation is a big fat load of cliché, so there's no chance of the story holding up.

Number 5 in the UK charts: Hurrah! Top 3 still consists of Coldplay, Duffy and Neil Diamond: Bah!