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If you're serving burgers or kebabs, you're going to have lettuce and tomatoes in stock anyway. Whoopee.

What indeed? Fop > Expert in field > Everyone else. That is the accepted hierarchy on here. Fop will now confirm this by quoting my post and saying "You're so right ". You're not though. Does that mean I'm even more wrong than you usually think I am? I'm so foncused.

Hey, we donated! Actually, having seen both your cumcatcher and Brock's beard IN ACTUAL REAL LIFE recently, there could be a seriously entertaining velcro effect there. Go for it.

What indeed? Fop > Expert in field > Everyone else. That is the accepted hierarchy on here. Fop will now confirm this by quoting my post and saying "You're so right ".

I have it in HD. So kiss my face! Don't fall for it, Brockles. It itches!

Aye, good luck to him. And keep checking your boys, boys!

Mind you, that's true in Forrun as well, so it still comes back to our drinking culture.

He texted me something about long walks. Typo. Mind, if I were a cheap date, I certainly wouldn't pick an Irish pub in Germany.

Roger that, cap'n.

Kristall would definitely be my drink of choice on a night out in Jormany. Tastes a bit strange over here, but that's no doubt all in the head. Speaking of beer, don't suppose you fancy doing the Finnegans pub quiz this Sunday? Ha ha! What time? Think it kicks off about 8-8.30. Mind you, last time we were in town it was off because they were showing the Rugby World Cup, so I'm still waiting for confirmation that there isn't some grand hurling or shinty final on the box instead.

Kristall would definitely be my drink of choice on a night out in Jormany. Tastes a bit strange over here, but that's no doubt all in the head. Speaking of beer, don't suppose you fancy doing the Finnegans pub quiz this Sunday?

Good grief. You definitely win.

I owe her a Facebook message, as it happens. Thanks for the reminder. She's good. "Same as ever" would be an over-simplification, but not wildly inaccurate.

It's a shame you don't anymore huh? No. No, it really isn't. Come off it, I'd turn for you in a second if you had an 80s mullet. Without hesitation. While making a face like that for you. As I said...

It's a shame you don't anymore huh? No. No, it really isn't.

I was trying to make a "Pots And Schooners"/"Sons And Daughters" Aussie soap-related pun, but it didn't happen. Just so you know.

I had that game. And at least two of the haircuts displayed by the kids on the box.

Talk about different approaches. It's like some kind of experiment. We must compare notes afterwards.

I love how random football is sometimes. Meanwhile, I'm onto the lolcats. Time for a shot of something strong before a meeting with the pillow god, I think.

I'm still amazed he didn't, to be honest. Buttocks of steel, I tell you.

Well if you will insist on imitating your avatar...

Right, now I'm so bored I'm navigating Swedish-language sites to see if you can buy a weekly Stockholm public transport ticket from one of the outlets at Arlanda Airport. You can definitely get 24- and 72-hour tickets from them, but I'm not sure about weekly ones. The trip isn't until March.

Two of my last three moves have been "let's go somewhere I've got a roof over my head and worry about getting a job later", and they've worked out pretty well. I'm not saying I necessarily recommend it as a tactic though, there were superb amounts of luck and coincidence involved in both cases. Then again, if you're happy to work doing pretty much anything, there's invariably something out there. And if nothing else, if you were in Newcastle you could go along to the pissups with your empty pockets and sit on the teetotal bench with Cath.

Yeah, sometimes it's hard to do something you reckon is beneath where you should ideally be, but experience is everything. It's bit of a Catch 22 situation really.

In that case I won't, as I might be inadvertently stepping on your toes.