Meenzer

Might hit the Cock and Lion near Bond Street for superstition's sake - saw a decent run of results there (Mackems aside). Then again, maybe that last bit isn't such a good omen. So I might just head for the local Millwall-oriented Irish dive and drown my sorrows with the stout-addled old men and their betting slips.

I liked the Evening Standard's headline sandwichboard tonight. Something along the lines of "PLOT TO BLOW UP U.S. JETS AND JEWS".

There's some excellent highlights of past Monaco Grands Prix (1961, 1981, 1982, 1992 and 1996) on the red button on BBC1 at the minute. Well worth checking out. EDIT: Apparently they're already gone from the Freeview feed but they'll be available until the end of Friday if you've got satellite or cable.

Oh good

That sting never fails to crack me up. Usually in the middle of the gym. Which is nice.

Probably this: Nah, they won the televoting-only semi-final too. Not that you care. And nor should I really. Apparently he's turning into Andrew Lloyd Webber. The signs are all there!

I reckon we've got a decent shot at the title this year tbh. (Probably end up 12th now. )

At least that covers my other losing bets this year.

I've put a tidy amount on Ireland failing to qualify from the Eurovision semi tonight. Feel a bit guilty because it's co-written by two Scandi friends of mine, but the rehearsals have been god-awful and Paddy Power were still offering 4/7. Fingers crossed... sort of...

ha ha. Chomp chomp. I reckon you need to get out of town centre and into the orcale bit and the surrounding area thats where the turtle bar was. But Purple Turtle and the Oracle are in the town centre... There's some canny pubs out in Brock's neck of the woods, south of the stadium on the other side of the M4. Village-y type affairs but without the inbreeding.

Jesus christ, man, you'll have me out of a job!

Two and a bit hours to go. Aquavit on ice!

Lovely with Coke as a summer drink, but I'd struggle to call it a whisky really.

It's one of four films being shown in Melbourne this month as part of a music film series. Mine's one of the other three Haha, excellent! Make sure you catch it when it's there. It won't exactly be your musical cup of cocoa, but something tells me you've a soft old heart in there somewhere.

sounds like a plan He's too young even for you.

Sounds Like Teen Spirit It's a genre that's been done to death of late, the "documentary about subgroup of kids with a weird interest" thing, and I freely admit that my Eurovision fetish makes me a far from unbiased observer - but this is just lovely. Equal parts funny, poignant, powerful and downright entertaining, I defy you to watch it without grudgingly admitting it's a canny flick. And it's on at the Tyneside later this month so you've no excuse. Be warned, though: you might end up wanting to adopt a camp-as-a-row-of-tents doe-eyed Cypriot boy.

Been there plenty of times. It's canny enough and you'll be in decent (misery-loves-)company.

Aye, the juries are back, so it's 50/50 between the telephone votes and the crusty old blokes in a darkened room... wait, that's most of the viewers too. You know what I mean though. Of course they haven't implemented 50/50 voting in the semi-finals, so all the evil easterners will get through to the final anyway.

Well I'm lost now. She's a lass, I can guarantee you that. How she chooses to make a spectacle of herself on here, however, is something over which I have regrettably little control.

Oh yes, oh yes indeed. It's that time of year again. Semi-finals on BBC3 on Tuesday and Thursday night, big final on Saturday night (with Norton instead of Wogan ), 8pm kick-off each time. We're being represented by a Leona Lewis wannabe singing an X Factor winner knock-off penned by Andrew Lloyd Webber. What could possibly go wrong? Meanwhile, this here piece of cheesy tat - folk mincing and all - is the hot favourite with bookies and fans alike, so it's probably doomed: There's Toontastic vested interests aplenty, with Bombadil's mates singing for Switzerland, while two old buddies of mine have co-written the Irish entry - or "borrowed bits from about five Miley Cyrus songs", if you're being cynical about it: All of this serves to cover up the fact that there's a distinct lack of continental sluttery this year, which is usually the only way I can tempt anyone on here to even contemplate watching the thing. Will Romania and Turkey do?

Toon

ballet

Rammstein

Get thee down the DLR to Greenwich and feel the parky goodness. (that's "parky", not "Parky")