Meenzer

I'll hold off on the racial epithets.

If you put "H from Steps" into Wikipedia it redirects to his actual page.

Fuck's sake.

The first rule of the secret forum is: you do not talk about the secret forum. The second rule of the secret forum is: you do not talk about... no, wait, I got that wrong. The second rule is: no smoking.

Shall I toss you women a coin? Heads you go to the Crown near Tottenham Court Road Tails you go to Lyceum Tavern ? That's not such a bad idea.

No idea. Someone make a decision. And is Pud even online today?

Oh wah wah wah. Bunch of faggots.

I've always been a big fan of cricketball. Those helmets are just preposterously cute.

Oh noes! Someone has made an irony!

does it fuck Fuck off Mo, it does, it's not even our country any more. Perhaps you should find another one then. May I recommend the Costa Blanca?

Why is Jack supposedly such a popular name anyway? It's been top of the lists for years now and I'm still to meet one. Maybe the darkies are murdering all the Jacks so that Mohammed can be top.

Lazy foreigners. When I was freelancing in the 'Burg, I made a point of meeting a journo friend for lunch on a regular basis. She was fine company, but it was the subsidised meals - a main course for less than a euro, for god's sake - that really made it.

I'm listening to the A20 pouring its vehicular bile in the direction of Lewisham as I type this, so I have to ask: whyyyyyyyyyyy? (And where? I fancy a giggle.) It was has a Housing Association there on the high street, possibly the dullest weeks of my life. Glad to hear you've managed to partially escape that particularly fine part of the world. Likewise! I love central Lewisham though, it's a fine place to go and get your cheap fruit and veg and Primark goodies, just so long as you know you can escape afterwards...

I'm listening to the A20 pouring its vehicular bile in the direction of Lewisham as I type this, so I have to ask: whyyyyyyyyyyy? (And where? I fancy a giggle.)

Not that it's any consolation but I think that's an age thing I maintain it's a fucking twat thing.

OOH EEH OOH AHH AHH TING TANG WALLA WALLA BING BANG

God I hate everyone.

Wait, you weren't working there? Firstly, apologies for my sieve-like memory, and secondly, why the hell were you living there of all places? Mind you, if the alternative was Finsbury Park...

Never had you down as a muslim. Say that again and I'll put a fatwah on your head. I'm not Muslim but working in Saudi Arabia at the minute so have to observe Ramadan when in the office. Heading home tonight though. And I thought you were a bit exotic for working in Canary Wharf.

Oh no, absolutely. I don't mind the German approach at all, it's not like it stops white people from listening to it. Quite the opposite in fact. It's just a strange sensation when you ask someone what music they're into and they say "Bläck Music".

It's like being back at school. "No I'm not giving you dinner money, you can come back home and make yourself a sarnie instead." "But muuuuu-uuuuuum...."

I don't really have a lunch break, I tend to work through it so that I can doss more throughout the day as a whole.

Mongooses. Basic pub quiz knowledge, that.

We've just moved into a "purpose-built" () flat with buzzers on the doors and you still get the Jehovah's Witnesses coming round. Surely the whole point is that they get you on the doorstep and try to browbeat you into talking to them? It doesn't work quite as well when you don't have the eye contact and you can just put the entryphone down on them. As for the Mercury Prize, I suppose it was about time for a token nod to what the Germans call Bläck Music, regardless of whether it's actually any cop or not. The rest of the list was pretty arse - I like the FloJo, Bat For Lashes and Glasvegas albums to a greater or lesser extent, but none of them are exactly revolutionary. Mind you, you can't always trust the Germans to get it right.