Meenzer

I'm sorry, I don't normally dismiss posts out of hand, but.... Starbucks

And "anyone for a nice piece of breast?" à la Adrian Mole?

Surely you could take it to its logical extreme and serve up a turducken. Lazy sods.

Wey that's it, I'd rather have seconds of roasties and gravy than have to fanny around making soup and nibbles on Christmas Day. Mind you, I've never had to actually do anything more than the peeling and chopping myself, so the point is probably moot.

I know it's the season of joy and goodwill and all, but the new Lotus isn't really Lotus, is it? And those Donnelly clips/pics never get less shocking.

Do people really do starters on Christmas Day? Don't get me wrong like, it sounds lovely, but surely there's enough effort involved already!

10-day trip to the States already booked for June, so once you factor in the usual city breaks (Hamburg in February, Stockholm in March for Eurovision-related purposes), there's not much time left for anything more than that. Will try to get away to somewhere low-maintenance like Lanzarote for a week of catching up on reading/relaxing in the early autumn again though.

Stuffing balls? Spicy chipolatas.

I'm going to the fella's family for Christmas for the first time, so I'll take whatever I'm given and I'll like it. Should be as trad as it comes though, which is good. I can have poncey stuff the rest of the year.

Have a purr-fect birthday! DO YOU SEE WHAT I DID THERE

Gretchen Peters - Northern Lights If you're going to do a Christmas album, this is how to do it.

Aye, most of the time I'm on Facebook it's either (a) to moan or ( to comment on other people's moans. As for the flight thing, I'm just bitter on missing out on a weekend's boozing with friends because Easyjet had three days of cancellations into London while most other airlines were largely unaffected. You get what you pay for, I suppose. Anyway, it's not just the Brits - one Christmas on the way back from Frankfurt to Newcastle I was stuck on a KLM plane at Schiphol for three hours because they had to de-ice an airport's worth of planes... with one de-icing machine. Genius.

I do take the point about people complaining about the cold if it isn't affecting their lives in any way other than the fact that it's cold, though. That's what jackets and hats are for.

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Yeah, fuck people for living abroad and wanting to come home for Christmas. They should walk if they're that bothered.

That's the thing, I could actually take the "Hallelujah" track last year because - whether you approved of it as a fan of Real Proper Music or not - at least they were doing something with the song that was different to the Cohen/Buckley interpretations, had a vaguely seasonal feel to it, etc. Whereas not only is "The Climb" effectively a karaoke version using near enough the same backing track as was in the charts just a few months earlier, but the production on it is exceptionally cheap even by X Factor standards; the sheer amount of autotune on Average Joe's vocals almost lapses into parody. You can't imagine they ran short of cash for studio time so he could do a second or third vocal take - and the lad can obviously hold a tune under normal circumstances, after all - so it's all quite puzzling. I think ultimately, the whole X Factor thing felt particularly half-arsed this year - "chuck anything out there and they'll lap it up" - so it's appropriate that this is the year the project got a bloody nose. Of course it won't change a jot in the grand scheme of things and it'll be normal service next year, but hey, it's been good for a Yuletide giggle.

Seen that for Finns with the bottom line as "Finland wins the Eurovision Song Contest". A nation's humourists went into mourning after Lordi's victory.

For any chart geeks out there, here's how the battles for Christmas #1 have shaped up over recent years:

Also said that Joe will go on to sell more albums than Rage have ever done. And I used to think he didn't have a sense of humour.

"I ♥ facebook like you ♥ cock"

There is a tangible difference though, surely? OK, RATM wouldn't have got to #1 without the story being ultimately picked up by the mainstream media, but even if you take the rest of the tale as being identical, I still see it as a healthy sign that a mass brainwashing campaign can originate from somewhere that isn't the inside of Simon Cowell's mind. As for sales figures, Joe's single shifted about 110k less than Alexandra's last year - so no, in other words.

At the very least. And/or before depending when people are out and about.

Fuck's sake. Friends were meant to be arriving for the weekend tonight but all three EasyJet flights from Schönefeld to Gatwick have been scrapped because we are shit at weather.

I don't think you've thought that through Watford's full of fucking puffs as I'd expected (no offence Martin ) some of them are justifying not getting in their cars to drive 3 miles to the office on the grounds that it must be bad because GMTV used Watford as it's 'outside snow broadcast' this morning..... A friend of mine on Facebook posted something about how we should respect her husband and his colleagues for working all night to keep Stansted open. Just after posting about how she's staying home from work all day because she can't walk on snowy pavements.

McElderberry's only 9,000 behind now, anyway, with tomorrow's uninspired Christmas shoppers still to come. Game over.