Meenzer

Not only did he lose, he lost bad. One of the few highlights of a rubbish night.

Fortunately the euro is going down the shitter too, so our trips to Lanzaro'eee will remain just as cheap/expensive. Pity anyone who has a trip the US planned though.

That is literally all I want right now. The two-party system might not have been shattered last night, but I still think it's on the cards if they can just hang tight and keep their hands clean until the next election, whether it's in October or 2015...

Except under PR at this election, Labour and the Lib Dems would basically have 50% of the vote = Lab-LD coalition = no Tory government.

...which he's just said he won't support. Simples.

LM as Immigration Minister. You're nailed on for Home Secretary. I'd actually vote for that cabinet. At least it'd be entertaining. Stevie would be far better suited to the Foreign Secretary rule though. The negotiations with the Italians would be interesting.

Well hung. Still stuck in his car. Either way, I really, really hope the Lib Dems say to the Tories "there you go - rule with a minority government". And I'm really, really worried they won't.

I bet the Murdoch spin on the "amnesty on ALL long-standing, non-criminal ILLEGAL immigrants" policy didn't help, either. Ultimately, though, people flee to the two big parties when the result is tight.

And they did. God bless the two-party system.

Newcastle Central stays comfortably Labour despite the BNP's campaign against a brown person representing it. Based on those figures, East and North will stay easily red too.

A good old Gossy High mate of mine is responsible for the Eastbourne campaign, so I'm delighted for him. It's all about the personal stories now as far as I'm concerned - the aforementioned, Bridget, and hopefully some good news in tomorrow's locals too.

I suspect they won't get an overall majority, but they'll have enough of a minority to rule, if that makes sense.

Tories have taken several seats in Wales, including Lembit's. Cameron's our next PM now, I'd say.

I hereby backtrack. Exit poll looks a lot more feasible now - high turnout = bad night for the Lib Dems.

Small swing from the Tories to the Lib Dems, even. Shows that the exit polls simply don't reflect the Lib Dems' strategy of focusing on the seats where they have a chance and completely ignoring the rest. I wonder how many "Con gain from LD" seats are factored into that original exit poll. And I wonder how many of them the Lib Dems will actually hold. And I wonder if that'll be enough to prevent an overall majority...

George Osborne. Cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt. He's a cunt.

Well done Bridget, fantastic stuff.

Having said that, I don't have a problem with a rule whereby the queue gets cut off at 10pm and anyone who's there still gets to vote. As long as the rules are applied consistently, which they doesn't seem to be. Or more to the point, there don't seem to actually be any rules. Did nobody think of this?

Don't buy it, and not just because I'm a Lib Dem - I'm still confident they'll be in the high 70s at the end of it all. The question is whether the "missing seats" in the exit poll are LD-Con marginals that the poll has given to Con, or LD-Lab marginals that the poll has given to Lab... if it's the latter, we're still looking at PM Cameron one way or another.

Speaking of endless streams, are you still going to Nashville in a few weeks? If so, bring a canoe... It's not looking pretty, is it? The festival organisers have been sending out reassuring e-mails, so fingers crossed, even if the venues are under several feet of water at the minute...

What are you, the head of an Asian household with control over a batch of postal votes?

A propos of nothing, I've just noticed that the UKIP candidate in Chelsea and Fulham lives in France.

Does he really start by asking "How many of yous are robbers?" What was he expecting, a hug and a kiss?

How did we have election campaigns before the internet?

I think it could be a minority government for as long as it wants to be, as long as enough opposition MPs are voting in favour of what they're after. So you could end up with, say, the Lib Dems not in an official coalition but agreeing to vote for most of the Tories' plans. Can't really see it surviving for long, though, which is why everyone assumes there'd be another election in that case.