Meenzer

He goes to a different country in a different decade, you wouldn't know him

"Someone brought a multipack, quick, add on 6!"

Maybe FFP rule-flouting has its benefits after all.

Nine-month-long wedding season, marra

Tory think tank on top form here

I see Right Said Fred are [checks notes] defibrillator truthers now. At least the replies are entertaining...

She was in the audience for Eurovision 1991 and Terry Wogan spotted her in the crowd in a matter of milliseconds, the old sot.

It didn't take itself very seriously, I said, it didn't take itself very seriously

Hey, that's not bad going at our age.

You can sing that to the tune of Shaky's "Merry Christmas Everyone", and you should.

Brave comment to make in the 70th minute, but I guess that's why they're paid the big bucks and we're not.

Sorry, badly put - "the decision as given" (eventually )

You'll be shocked to hear that Peter Walton agreed with the on-pitch decision.

"That don't impress me much"

I see Rees-Mogg is being an appalling cunt again, just for a change

Glass.

Worryingly strong twink/daddy energy in that pic

CT is so close to getting the hang of this football thing.

I will never, ever, be able to get my head around how these people manage to persuade ordinary folk to vote for them. Whether it's your dodgy Bridgen or Lee Anderson types or the likes of Rees-Mogg. What on earth is it that inspires voters - tens of thousands of them! - to walk into a polling station and put an X next to their name? It genuinely completely eludes me.

We're turning our back on the Liverpool-hosted Eurovision and heading to a villa by the beach in Gran Canaria instead. Soz, Scousers.

Well where's the fun in that?

How's the smerky bacon, did you say?