Meenzer

This makes me chuckle. Young lad at work came back from a stag do and was in the same state. I questioned why he had to drink so much, he looked at me like I'd shit on his chest! If he was the groom-to-be, someone probably had....

Mildly petrified. Off to Berlin tomorrow for a 4-day stag do. Anyone got a spare liver?

Nobody with integrity would have taken the job in the first place. Stakkars faen.

It's a bit like asking the ref to card another player. It should get you a card yourself, but it never does.

there cunterheads

I'm not one to talk, but 'kin 'ell, his mouth's been filled more than... well anyway.

My favourite Pokémon is Charmander!

Bloody hell, it's Antony and the Johnsons

If that means we're spared a spectacularly dull autobiography, he might just be my new favourite player ever.

Rated 99 on Follicle Manager

He can get it up for you, but you'll have to supply your own box.

Never heard of the nad.

FYP

One-sixth of the way to safety. Good result.

Sounds like a plague of jamie olivers . As backed up by the rampant metrosexuality of the Cookery thread.

What National Lottery game show were you on?

Just coming!

Expecto moderatum!

I do like cricket, but you've got to be suspicious about any sport where reading the weather is seen as some massive stroke of tactical genius. We might as well be world #1 in Dressing Properly For The Shops.

We'll win 74-0

How do you know? £80k at least. It'll be £80K tops and I bet it's a lot closer to £60K. I don't know but neither does anyone. That's why the whole "he's a greedy cunt" arguement is just plain ridiculous. Would your opinion of him change if he was earning less than he was on here? And before you say he's not - we simply don't know, do we? Tom reckons Joey could have retired years ago! Any footballer of his age, status and history could have. That's just basic maths.

There's a memorial centre for you just down the road from here.