Meenzer

I assume that's not recent, given the Christmas cards in the background. Although it wouldn't surprise me.

Getting women to do what you want is an art, much like filing So women should be stored securely in a lockable cabinet?

Isn't he the one who literally tried to kick Claudio Caniggia out of the San Siro? Take a bow son! Yep. I could watch the clip all night. His boot even comes off.

One of my favourite pieces of unlikely World Cup squad selection here

Ledge

Went there for a day in 1994. I suspect things have changed a little in the meantime.

Massively grateful to be coming home tomorrow. Stag weekend in Berlin has gone pretty well considering the groom and the best man didn't bother actually planning anything. Couple of the lads are proper dicks after a day on the booze, too, which is fun fun fun for everyone else. Still, you can't choose your friends' friends, as the saying goes

He never reacts to what people say the bloke. He's like dehumanised. I know it's a horrible thing to say, he comments on things and I don't think even he knows why. Like nee character or soul, and in my book that's ODMF like Timothy McVeigh Aye I think you're right, you get people like that, who meander through life completely oblivious to what's going on around them or how they come across to other people. They're not usually portly menaces to society though.

OK, I'm starting to be concerned this is actually serious. I'd happily welcome a waggish, entertaining raconteur of a paedo into my midst (), but one who can't actually hold a conversation?

WTMFMF?

now now Martin, just because I upset your chum in the other thread Haven't read it

This makes me chuckle. Young lad at work came back from a stag do and was in the same state. I questioned why he had to drink so much, he looked at me like I'd shit on his chest! If he was the groom-to-be, someone probably had....

Mildly petrified. Off to Berlin tomorrow for a 4-day stag do. Anyone got a spare liver?

Nobody with integrity would have taken the job in the first place. Stakkars faen.

It's a bit like asking the ref to card another player. It should get you a card yourself, but it never does.

there cunterheads

I'm not one to talk, but 'kin 'ell, his mouth's been filled more than... well anyway.

My favourite Pokémon is Charmander!

Bloody hell, it's Antony and the Johnsons

If that means we're spared a spectacularly dull autobiography, he might just be my new favourite player ever.

Rated 99 on Follicle Manager

He can get it up for you, but you'll have to supply your own box.