Meenzer

There's some massive contradictions in the quotes there. Some blokes admit to talking to other blokes about their appearance - christ, man the barricades! - and suddenly we need to value being a fat cunt. No thanks - I'm one at the minute and it feels like being crippled. I understand that some people revel in being the way they are, and that's terrific, but equating "being healthy" to "feeling the pressure to conform" is just pitiful.

"Nessun dorma" existed before World Cup 1990? Nar, good choice - I suppose it's obvious to boil the Pavarotti legend down to this one piece, but there's no shame in being remembered for "making it your own", as Idol judges nowadays would have it. "Nessun dorma" will inevitably always be associated in my mind (and not only mine) with that last great summer of out-and-out childhood, when England should have made the final, when Cameroon should have been in the semi-final in the first place, when a tournament widely regarded as awful in hindsight still seemed like the most exciting thing in the world - Schillaci! Skuhravy! His name doesn't start with an 'S' but Roger fucking Milla! - and I'm not afraid to say that, if you catch me on the right/wrong day, Pavarotti effortlessly belting out the final part of the aria will invariably extract a tear or two from my eyes. Tramontate, stelle! All'alba vincerò!

If you're worried about Twitter's 140-character limit stopping you from making your point adequately, don't fucking make your point on Twitter.

Me neither I literally couldn't get to the stage where I could accept our victory till the third went in - an neutral probably had us down for the win 20 minutes before hand. 'Twas ever thus - 2-0 up at half-time in the 5-0 and it still felt like "next goal wins". I suppose it's a compliment of sorts to Man U's resilience/momentum/inherent flukiness, but it makes it doubly satisfying when you wipe the floor with them like on Wednesday.

If you haven't published a Kindle cookbook by this time in five years, I'll be amazed.

He's not kidding. Actual exchange from the last time we met: Me: Would you like to come out for drinks later? Parky: Yes, please. Me: Then I can come and stay at yours, I don't have to work tomorrow, we can stay in bed all day. Parky: Mmmmm... Me: So don't forget to wash your sheets. Parky: Right. Me: And your penis.

Sounds like a sub-standard US cop show. Happy birthday!

Also FYP (creatively).

Oh, that was you? You on a new number like?

He talked about having played his strongest team tonight too. We might as well sell Steven Taylor now.

Do not post that again - it's a match thread. Also if you've ever actually been to a Swedish nightclub, you'll know it's somewhat far removed from the truth.

There are some proper knackers on here like. If you can't enjoy this win by your borrowed team, you'll never enjoy anything your borrowed team ever achieves, so why not just fuck off, eh?

http://www.virgin.com/richard-branson/blog/newcastle-united-and-virgin-money I can't decide if that's cringeworthy or bloody fantastic. A bit of both maybe.

In your deluded eyes anyway. I still get goosebumps when I remember some clown on here saying Newcastle were one of the biggest clubs in the world. Maybe in terms of the weight of the individual supporters who attend the games but other than that, I'm lost. We are, but then, so are Villa, so I'd temper your response and consider the sheer number of clubs there actually are in the world. Your club is one of the biggest in the world because it plays in the Premier League, has won domestic honours and isn't Dalian Shide. Thing is, you lot always measure any morsel of success against us, where we measure our meagre success against our own benchmarks. The pictures of you celebrating our relegation were akin to a Champions League triumph. When you lot went down, (and up and down) sure we laughed, but then we stopped caring. You are the local enemy, the charver neighbour who buys a big bore exhaust for the Punto because we buy an Audi. We don't measure ourselves against you, because frankly you don't measure up. Now, if you're still around at the end of the season and you've contributed more than just pointless updates on your parochial town's club I'll apologise, but until then I'll think you a piss poor wum and the reason we seem arrogant. The day you were relegated I think most fans were celebrating because we'd managed to stay up, moron. You're one to talk anyway, I remember the celebrations at the Sports Direct Arena on the day Sunderland and Middlesbrough were both relegated in 1997. The day you were relegated I think most fans were celebrating because we'd managed to leapfrog the Dippers into 2nd and qualify for the Champions League, moron. (NB. The Champions League is a big shiny trophy they play for in a place called "Europe")

I quite like them myself. I'm amazed that took 40 minutes to be honest. I'm not. ... I forget why I like you You don't. ...oh wait

I quite like them myself. I'm amazed that took 40 minutes to be honest. I'm not.

I quite like them myself.

Aye, all the best Renton mate, Stevie too. And anyone else who's having a bit of a shite time right now.

Back in town for a few days. I must have lived in London for too long, the service at both restaurant and pub tonight were lovely and friendly. I need some rudeness and indifference, and quickly - any of you lot out for a jar before the Man U game?

I'll be in the neutral end too. Sounds like it's basically going to be a second away section.

Oi.

Just watching The Red Balloon on Sky Arts 2. Nostalgia.

Ohhh, lesbian hair.

Keep thinking of this every time I see the thread title.