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I will never, ever, be able to get my head around how these people manage to persuade ordinary folk to vote for them. Whether it's your dodgy Bridgen or Lee Anderson types or the likes of Rees-Mogg. What on earth is it that inspires voters - tens of thousands of them! - to walk into a polling station and put an X next to their name? It genuinely completely eludes me.

We're turning our back on the Liverpool-hosted Eurovision and heading to a villa by the beach in Gran Canaria instead. Soz, Scousers.

Well where's the fun in that?

How's the smerky bacon, did you say?

And then everyone on the bus stood up and applauded.

The good folks at Blyth Links parkrun know a selling point when they see one.

There's definitely a side hustle as a personal trainer in your future.

Running on grass is more forgiving on the joints than paths, too, so any park that isn't too muddy at this time of year will do for a bit of variety.

Funny name for a dog.

Or this.

I always say that I enjoy having run more than I enjoy the act of running itself. The satisfaction of achievement is the best motivator really. But I tend to get more out of it if I'm running with someone else, or as part of an organised event like a parkrun where there's a general supportive vibe all round (and I can see other people who are hating it just as much as I am ). More seriously, if joint impact is a concern, I'd also look at hiking and hill walking. Doesn't have to be heavy-duty stuff, but a couple of regular routes with plenty of uphill will get your heartbeat up and calories burnt in no time, plus you actually get to enjoy the views along the way. It's good for running too in that it strengthens glutes, hamstrings and the like. Obviously now isn't necessarily the time of year for that, but we're getting there.

Nice! For all it's intended for absolute beginners, I've found Couch To 5k is good for getting your distance up while building a good base level of fitness too - if you're already doing 20 mins without stopping, you could jump straight to a week somewhere in the middle of the programme and go from there. Can't decide whether to wish you good luck or bad luck in the ballot. 😬😁

Two bald men fighting over a comb.

Erm...

Germany are also rolling out a €49 monthly ticket that will cover all regional (i.e. commuter/stopper but not intercity/high-speed) trains as well as all buses, trams, underground etc. throughout the entire country. For comparison, a four-week all zones ticket on the Metro will set you back almost twice that.

How's Wood even managed that?!

Sorted

The light show. Not quite Qatar, eh

My parents discovered the benefits of subtitles back when Rab C Nesbitt was first on (my mam's Swedish so she had no chance, to be fair ) and they have them on pretty much all the time now. It's quite handy because they can talk over what's happening on the telly - and they do, they do - and you don't lose the thread of what's going on. Not that it's usually anything more intricate than Casualty, but still.

Absolute TUNE.

Saved you a word

Anyway, happy Friday, everybody!

It really is. You sometimes wonder how you're supposed to plan for anything in life or feel secure when there's so much out there that can happen to you or your loved ones, but that's the nature of it all, I suppose.