Meenzer

Aye. Obama looked and acted like he'd just woken up from a long nap. Definitely a Romney win (ignoring actual content, which obviously barely matters in these things).

Kenny Everett thing tonight was decent.

Asseptable. Glass of scotch at my side, Explosions In The Sky in my ears, proofreading on my laptop screen. Two out of three ain't bad.

I aim to please. But if I can't manage that, permanent scarring is fine too.

Now that's a fucking 80s chorus.

Have you got me blocked by mistake or something?

80s gurus Stock, Aitken & Waterman's first production. Under a pseudonym. You can see why.

Magnificent.

Songs need to be 2 minutes long again.

Aye, was basically going to say exactly that. "His Latest Flame" is a corker mind.

Or, failing that:

I'm on the £5 service (since my phone is from the 18th century and I never leave the house), and I bloody love it.

Good nose, cheeky finish. Hints of vanilla and freshly-cut grass.

Brilliantly enough: Samuel Ameobi ‏@Sammy_Ameobi Angry at my car because I just foolishly tried to hop out without taking my seatbelt off #passtheblame #notmyfault

You can't use apostrophes in hashtags.

They certainly didn't stop me.

Everyone's a grockle in Greenwich.

No it's not.

Come to the pub with us!

Spilled cheesy beans into your router?

Uncanny.

It's on ESPN.