Meenzer

OK, so I've been posting various ridiculous rehearsal photos in the General Random Conversation thread already, but the thing's next week and people keep coming up with increasingly ridiculous stagings - this time it's Montenegro's turn: ...so I figured I might as well start the yearly tradition now. The press centre, which we've moved into today after four days in a converted cinema (don't ask), is sizeable: And we have illuminated trees! Belta European Minge update to follow.

The Ukrainian giant has his stage outfit sorted now.

Bean poker. (Wait, same thing.)

Still none the wiser to be honest... based on today's batch, Georgia should do very well but I don't think it's a winner, could be a decent each-way though. Romania, however, will not be in contention:

Ukraine are planning an understated performance.

https://www.facebook.com/manchesterunited?v=app_119829254859378

Absolutely fucked. Free bar at the Irish delegation party yesterday afternoon and I still haven't recovered. I'm getting too old for this shit.

Thing is, with some crimes that makes sense - higher theft/burglary rates due to poverty, for example - but sexual deviancy, psychoses involving detachment from social norms and so on are (at least as far as I know) distributed fairly normally throughout the population. If anything, you could argue that when it comes to complex and expensive plans like this (soundproofed torture rooms ffs), it's the people who can afford it you should be watching out for!

It's CT man.

Found his scran truck on the mean streets of Malmö!

I'm sitting in the Eurovision press centre blogging about rehearsals.

Safely arrived in Malmö. Goooorgeous sunshine, and we even thought to stock up on wine in Denmark.

I can't stress enough how important this is.

I've already negotiated a get-out-of-going-to-see-a-stripper card for my mate's stag in Hamburg this summer. Starting to think I should have added a no-Jägerbombs-until-lunchtime clause.

He's typing like that because OH GOD NO :(

The only plausible reason for the grammar and punctuation in that post is because you're distracted by OH GOD NO :(

I went for a fairly gentle opener about the groom plucking up his courage, getting down on one knee and asking me to be his best man. Not even a blowjob subtext. Good luck.

Superb.

Her victory speech was more full of platitudes than a platitude factory, but she did come across like a hardened local campaigner. Because of course you can judge these things based on a five-minute section on Sky News.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QkS3KTr2sNU I swear I'm even more of a soppy bastard than manc-mag.

UKIP a pretty strong 2nd in South Shields. Lib Dems 7th, behind two independents and the orange BNP woman. Ouch.

Never mind that, I'd vote for Victoria Coren as PM.

Stronzo d'oro!

Well it would be, since it's family you're talking about. (Sorry. Hope things calm down a bit for you all.)