Meenzer

Utterly broken. Had a good old friend over for the weekend and we did everything - from Shakespeare at the Globe and Spamalot to curry on Brick Lane and dim sum in Chinatown to Polish vodka bars and grotty late-night metal pubs to a day at the seaside in sunny Southend-on-Sea yesterday. Which was surprisingly good fun actually. There's still half a bottle of Absolut Mango in the freezer, my shoulders are aching from endless rounds of air hockey and whack-a-mole, and I'm about ready to curl up in bed and die. Oh and I'm on a train to Newcastle tomorrow morning.

I didn't have mushroom for manoeuvre.

Whereas I was like shiitake off a shovel.

That's because I'm a fun guy.

The breakfast of champignons.

Your carnival is Your carnival is Your carnival is inferior to Cologne's Yooooooour carnival is inferior to Cologne's

It's probably not much worse than what goes into "meat" sausages, especially the kind you get as part of a £2.99 breakfast.

And it's 96 against Mainz this weekend. Bring it on.

3 wins out of 3 now.

I thought he was looking fairly trim in the Charva Tony Blair pic. I'm in a decent enough mood considering I barely slept. Beer and late-night curry with the boys is becoming harder and harder to get away with the next day. Getting old.

Started an evening on Aftershock and Goldschlager and ended it trying to walk down the Central Motorway. I'm still a bit ashamed. I mean, Aftershock ffs.

Sorry, but that's brilliant.

Old people are right about everything.

Hope so, since it was basically the Lib Dems last time and expecting them to have a spine nowadays is a bit much.

My first thought too. Actually, no, my second thought after "that's not how you pronounce it!". I may need a life.

Could well be. He was the only thing worth remembering about the experience (well, that and the dashing company, obviously).

Born in February 1997. Fuck's sake, life.

Very good. My favourite might be this:

Fragment (consider revising).

Led Leppelin, Estonia's finest Led Zep tribute band.

Scored for Swindon tonight to help put QPR out of the League Cup. Loftus Road is where I first saw him, in a reserve match the best part of five years ago. Thought he had massive potential, which is why I'm a translator and not a football scout. I swear though, if Nile Ranger gets further in this competition than we do...