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Alves was 27 mind.

Like one of them bairns at the match who shouts "Score!" whenever someone has the ball in an advanced position.

Mine is British Eurovision fans who don't use diacritics when writing foreign song titles.

It got better. I had to go to the Wembley branch too. One way of ensuring 2014 is an improvement on the way 2013 ended, I suppose.

Put a Shrek in it.

http://pornhubcommentsonstockphotos.tumblr.com/ Happy New Year everybody!

Could be worse. I'm heading to IKEA Croydon. D-:

Pimms Drinking Ultra Shithouse

Now why would you say something crazy like that?

And they say it's a difficult language.

http://designtaxi.com/news/362907/A-3D-Printer-That-Lets-You-Print-A-Real-Living-Garden/

Shints!

"The shed" is slang for your gullet now?

Well, that depends - if you also say "camel c" or "cougar c"...

Kicking!

All of that, basically.

There's a bunch of Eurovision ones of those, but they wouldn't make a great deal of sense to anyone. We are well funny.

"Hatem or Shane?"?

Hull 5 up against Fulham. Crikey.

The embodiment of the old boys' network.

Merson on SSN just called Speroni "Peroni". Old habits die hard.

It means the drinks are on me the next time we go out.* * Offer valid from 1 - 31 January 2014