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It was that bad?

Belated happytimes!

I know it's an old man thing to say, but I just don't get it. How can anyone be so bothered about owning *things*? They're just things.

I remember getting back from my year abroad in Germany, where a döner - while obviously never the height of culinary sophistication - still involved chunks (not slivers) of nicely spiced meat that was actually recognisable as meat, fresh salad and interesting sauces, served up in a thick fluffy quarter of round Turkish bread, almost verging into stottie territory, designed so as not to fall apart upon first contact with sauce, grease, air, hands, etc. I'd somehow made it through to that point without ever trying a kebab in Britain. The first time I did so on my return... I'm still scarred. A truly subhuman experience.

I've been balancing out this boozehound karma by being in bed by 11 the last two nights. I don't usually see weekend mornings. I'm not sure I like them.

"Straight"?

1. Host candlelight supper 2. Henpeck husband incessantly 3. Mispronounce own surname 4. Terrorise nervous neighbour 5. Fall into hedge when barked at by dog

There's nothing wrong with a bit of playground banter. At least when CT's kids say "My dad's bigger than your dad" they know they mean it.

The recipe calls for minced lamb, anyway. I am confuse.

Cracking.

That's where it begins, anyway.

Not that I'm actually drinking either (the one on the right just arrived today anyway). Gifts from a very generous friend that I'll save for an occasion that isn't "sitting in front of telly while replying to a CT thread on my phone".

Get that man on Question Time.

several times fucking yes

None of which is relevant to the country's EU membership after a potential Scottish secession.

Aye. When I'm picking out tunes rather than reading music I basically play the piano like an average busker plays guitar, left hand constantly playing simple fifths unless otherwise required. It makes it easier to pick out chord progressions but lord knows there's no real talent involved.

Huh? The rump UK excluding Scotland will be the legal successor of "UK including Scotland".

Couldn't find the courtroom so sat in Wimpy with a Bender in a Bun judging passers-by.

Unfortunately there's more than enough floating voters in this country who'll think "oo, funny man with silly hair!" and not consider for a moment what he actually stands for.

You'd certainly have to hit the breadstick croutons pretty hard.

Poor old H from Steps. Couldn't stand the misplaced abuse so he topped himself.

I Just Called To Order Duck Pizza

Signed, Sealed, Delivered, Put Away In The Cupboard After Two Weeks

Part-Time Blubber