Meenzer

Not only do I now have a Tory MP for the first time since the days of dodgy Piers Merchant, but it's a safe Tory seat too, since not all of Peterborough is in Peterborough constituency. So at least I can vote with my conscience. If I can find it.

"The proposal originally involved Ryan Fraser but was subsequently improved". Harsh.

Under Ashley I probably would have been...

Financial literacy is for lefty cucks

Squelch-y.

The Ivy Road shooting! The most exciting thing to happen in Gosforth since Donna Air.

That's a terrible slur on the reputation of Khizanishvili & Sons.

Fucking hell

Congratulations! We'll get CT to send you a selection of his finest cryptocurrencies.

Nothing says "I'm a free thinker, not like you sheeple" quite like following an instruction to use the exact same profile picture and video content as all the other free thinkers

🎶 Oh Mandy Well, you came and you gave without raping 🎶

Toni Erdmann. Interesting without necessarily being good.

This is the second least surprising revelation of the day after CT becoming a crypto bro.

Ah, good old David__Ornsten.

A delight to note that, after the initial story broke, the social media rumour mill took approximately four nanoseconds to start pointing the finger at Graham Norton, Rylan, Alan Carr, and all the other most wildly unimaginative choices you could possibly come up with. Although it says a lot about the whole situation that I've waited until now to complain about this lack of imagination just in case it turned out to be one of them after all.

Took Denton Dene good and proper, marra

"Keen to be thought of as something he's not: alive."

That 18-minute period in the first half is funnier than any TV comedy I've seen. Even the Mindy Project.

That has to be one of CT's Etsy specials.

If I had to bet on someone on here to have been thrown off a local community Facebook group, mind...

I joined the Facebook residents' group for our new neighbourhood before we even moved in. It helps you to get an idea of the place, for better or worse (often worse). Plus it meant we knew about the local school summer fete on our first weekend, where we promptly steamed in and won a bunch of prizes in the raffle ahead of the locals. It's good to make friends.

Although, my arbitrary restriction this year could be that I'm only allowed players with double vowels in their names... ....nah, "x" it is.

If I saw a horse on a bike I'd give it a wide berth, mind.