Meenzer

Mainz, from living there (bit of a soft spot for St. Pauli too, same reason). Not exactly easy to zip across for every home game though. Been meaning to find a half-decent lower-league team locally but even that probably means trekking to Dulwich.

This?

http://www.sundayworld.com/sport/opinion/roy-curtis/why-stevie-g-is-most-self-obsessed-footballer-of-his-generation#.U3JtOM7M1J4.twitter Excellent bit of comment thread-baiting.

That's nothing to do with his age, that's just pure cultural ignorance.

When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, that's-a Norway!

The kind of place where you might wake up with an elk's head on the pillow next to you.................................

Asked a friend from Newcastle who's lived in Edinburgh for a decade or so. I'll be lazy and just quote his text directly: "Leith 100%. Awesome, fun and I don't live there! Or if more middleclass Stockbridge and Morningside." Make of that what you will.

Home from hols so naturally a bit down, though Eurovision bets have paid for the next holiday and then some ......might start looking to book something for the winter already

I think they've given up trying. Our regular haunt proudly advertised its speciality of "Canary Soup"...

https://twitter.com/rustyrockets/status/465264279223296001/photo/1

Last day in Gran Canaria. So unfair.

....totally forgot to mention the Austrian drag queen who looks like Brock Manson

In tonight's semi-final, the UK is actually allowed to vote! And what a feast awaits you, including trampolining Greeks, a Georgian fusion-jazz band with a giant parachute, BOOBS BOOBS BOOBS from Poland, a hologrammatic singer from Romania (spoiler alert), and several entries channeling the spirit of Mumford & Cunts. But don't let that put you off. Oh and if you want to get in the mood, there's even a dedicated Eurovision pop-up radio station from the Beeb that's operating for the next four days: http://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/p01xtzsl/live Perfect for annoying your colleagues/friends/family. Paging CT!

It's not. We last sat out in 1958 though. Gluttons for punishment...

It's that time of year again, folks! Semi-finals on BBC THREE tonight and Thursday (8pm), grand final on BBC ONE on Saturday night as ever. Tonight's highlights include a Dutch duet straight off the set of Nashville, a fat man from Belgium with a mother fetish, a trapeze artist from Azerbaijan, and some Latvian student cunts who want to know how to bake a cake. It'll be the car crash of the year. You know you want to.

Oh, does it ever. They have a dedicated Eurovision bar, for heaven's sake! CT would love the whole complex - camp 80s music, tat shops and all-you-can-eat Chinese buffets all under one roof.

I'm writing this from a plane, high above the ocean on the way to Gran Canaria. I bloody love the modern age.

I tried tinned moussaka once. It was basically cat food.

Excellent, we can't even decide on the minute. http://www.chroniclelive.co.uk/news/north-east-news/newcastle-united-fans-plan-69th-7060369?utm_source=dlvr.it&utm_medium=twitter

Mmmm, Cheddary beetroot.

How would they tell?

The Icelandic Eurovision representatives are bored; a Britpop tribute ensues.

Aye, then he went and left his phone on a train. I'll zip along for a quick lime and soda if I can.