Meenzer

Last time we were in Lanzarote, the worst of the restaurants were having to compete like mad for business because of the downturn. There was a row of more or less neighbouring all-you-can-eat Chinese buffets, all of which had cut their prices to €3.99 per person. Let's be honest, you're lucky if you're eating dog at that price.

http://the-toast.net/2014/10/28/women-terrible-time-parties-western-art-history/

Work having to look at your PC remotely to fix a problem. Creeping paranoia.

Because I'm the kind of insufferable nerd who tracks these things, I can say with some confidence that I'm now trading at my (joint) lowest weight since I was a teenager, not that you'd know it from the still-saggy belly (damn you, body extremes). Sorely tempted to sack off the health kick for a while and investigate the entire Pukka Pies and Haribo product ranges in minute detail, but I suppose I should try and push on from here.

Al O'Achbhárdh

We've imported a fuckload of Poles and Lithuanians, no way that would make the drinking rates go down.

It's boring as fuck, mind.

https://www.facebook.com/video.php?v=919560771422472

Ban Yorkshire.

I did some hill shuttles yesterday and I'm waddling around like The Fish's sister in the Asda frozen aisle today, but I'm going to stop complaining having heard that. Ouch.

That sounds more familiar, aye.

What she secretly wanted to say: https://vine.co/v/OU2dvgFO0pr

A German chemist who let you buy more than one thing at once without sending you to a GP? Astonishing.

No they didn't.

Now you Siem, now you don't.

Perfectly put.

Aussieland, rejoice! http://www.eurovision.tv/page/news?id=australia_to_participate_in_the_2015_eurovision_song_contest

And Gary Speed. Don't forget Gary Speed.

Too right. Wilkinson goes missing every single game, yet somehow essembeeofsunderland can't see it.

He's having a canny season with West Ham, to be fair.

He's having a canny season with Man U, to be fair.

Gîte tae fuck.