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No mention of the Marmite, I notice. The man's clearly a monster.

Found one for CT to try.

White dog shit for goalposts

A wiff-waff paddle and a jolly stern talking-to will soon set Johnny Froggo right.

(something something British wine something British whine something)

But we give the world Ed Sheeran and Coldplay, so, y'know.

And this in the week France Gall died.

I thought we could at least establish ourselves as the world's first cryptocountry post-Brexit, but Belarus is ahead of the game https://www.tvr.by/eng/news/ekonomika/belarus_pervaya_strana_v_mire_kotoraya_uzakonila_tekhnologiyu_blokcheyn/

I see Hammond and Davis are crawling to them Europeans over financial services. Apparently no deal in that area could be catastrophic. Sounds a lot like Project Fear talk to me.

I see even Fred Durst is trying to reason with Trump now.

Me and a mate tried to go to the pencil museum when we were in the Lakes a couple of years ago, precisely because it sounded terrible. Got there too late and they'd only let us into the shop. Lots of pencils in there too mind, so we probably got the general experience.

He's just demonstrating his tactical genius by biding his time. Until, I don't know, he's dead or we're dead or something.

OK, 4 miles probably is a bit much for a three-year-old, isn't it? Still, best they learn early. Life's unfair and then there's hills.

https://www.nationaltrust.org.uk/borrowdale-and-derwent-water/trails/borger-dalr-geology-walk-borrowdale This walk isn't too far away from you, bottom end of Derwentwater - I've done it a few times and it seems pretty manageable, you certainly see plenty of families with kids doing it, and the older ones should enjoy the clamber up to the top of Castle Crag, which is a sensible height (nothing overly strenuous) but gives you some great views. Probably not one for the very littlest ones, but someone can always stay with them and paddle around the river while the older ones take on the climb. And there's a couple of decent cafés in Grange too. Definitely recommend sniffing round the National Trust website for similar walks (including more leisurely ones that everyone can do), there's some good stuff on there. Anything around Derwentwater tends to be pretty lovely, even if you just stick to the lakeside and enjoy the views from ground level. There's also a surprisingly good tapas and beer place in Keswick (http://esbarkeswick.co.uk/) but probably not for a family trip. One to remember for when you're next back though.

Magic beings

https://www.independent.co.uk/sport/wright-to-explain-attack-on-pleat-1365432.html "He's a pervert - and you can print that."

And

Our Rob, or Ross.

Travel.

Aye, it'll be massively oversubscribed so the chances are minimal, but I'm happy to sign up for a charity place if not. I turn 40 about two months afterwards so it's a good excuse for one last push before decrepitude sets in.

Great North Run ballot opened today and some idiots have been queuing on the website for an hour just to enter it, even though it's open until February 5th and there's no advantage to entering early.

And it sounds like a description of your posts.