Meenzer

Cut to Brad's office:

Labour have chosen a candidate in my constituency who's young enough that I could be his dad. Still gets my tactical vote, obviously, but fuck this shit.

Keep it going Craig, there's gold in them hills

Ah well. Fourth day of my redundancy so at least I won't have to take time off for watching all night.

St. Peter's station renamed Allah, The Most Beneficient, The Most Merciful

Can I interest you in becoming a Eurovision fan?

The irony being that breakfast is a lot blacker than it should be.

Bill Shankly's not been in a job for a while

I'm sorry, sammy, but this sounds like exactly the kind of apologism that protected the likes of Savile for so long, "look at what he did for the kids" and all. In the absolute best case scenario here, you're asking us to defend someone who talked about his appreciation of gross paedophilia because he was doing so "for the lols". It's not much of an argument, is it? I mean, would it really be that tricky, even if you felt like pretending you got off on child rape was a fun thing to do, to maybe, like, not pretend like you got off on child rape? 🤷‍♀️

#chemtrails #denpressure #letissier

Aaaaaand the Dutch currywurst guy has just been disqualified from tonight's show for threatening a crew member. I wonder if Eurovision HQ are regretting adopting "United By Music" as the permanent slogan for the event now.

Yet

I was just after the holiday humblebrag, tbf

I've just met all the people who agree with you

Early indications that Israel walked away with the public vote in tonight's semi-final, which could make Saturday night a rather tasty bit of television... 😬

Morning all. 👋

Euphemism...?

They elected a Liberal in 1973, they were overdue another outlier

Meanwhile, Greens got elected in Elswick and Byker so they outnumber the Tories 2 to 1 anyway

There is a little bit of local context in Gosforth, insofar as the Tory candidate has been standing for the last few years, actually being properly active between elections too and building up a personal vote, so this was probably only a matter of time. But also the Lib Dems stood someone with an even more recognisably Asian name than the Tories, and Gosforth is Gosforth. 😬

I know a lot of councils start counting the next day now because they think it's too much of an imposition to expect volunteers to stay up into the wee small hours, but that's... extreme

Don't worry, it's one of the less useful letters anyway.

I would if it wasn't for the Tories having made the Mayoral election FPTP