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Talk about an Impedimenta.

"That pile of literature in the shed? It's all the Asterix books, pet..."

Ventin' Renton. Sounds like a nickname Trump would give him.

I got scared and ran away.

Working from home is grand... when you can break up the day by actually going places and seeing people.

Somewhere in the constant news flow I seem to have missed the part about the railways being temporarily renationalised... https://www.theguardian.com/world/2020/mar/23/covid-19-government-suspends-rail-franchise-agreements

So this is going to be the week when Mike Ashley can rightly say he is getting the hang of this lockdown lark.

Aye, exactly, I assume this is basically just their way of saying "we can arbitrarily disperse people from beaches and parks now". If you can still be out and about with your family, or you can still have a "gathering" of two people even though you're not supposed to be leaving the house for anything non-essential...

All sounds like what we were doing anyway, but let's see if it gets through to everyone. And moreover, whether there's the personnel to enforce it...

https://thepooptool.com

No run today, I intended to but then things got in the way. Can't have been any busier than at the weekend though, the local park was heaving on Saturday.

Depends if you're inside or out.

And make sure to cough on it first.

Snarky Renton is fun, more of this please!

I tend to see it the other way - if I'm going to be trapped in the house, at least cooking every day gives me something to do.

I'll give that a look, cheers. We had one of the local hipster dads around yesterday with this: ...which is really nice. Had a chat to him and I'm going to sign up to help where possible - we're both still working full-time and don't have a car so we might be of limited use, but an extra pair of hands never hurts. I'm more concerned about our next-door neighbours, the Millwall season-ticket holder and his wife I've mentioned once or twice on here. They're both 90 and she had a fall (all the way down the stairs ) about six weeks ago, so she's basically bedbound at the minute and he's having to keep the place going with the help of some carers who come in once or twice a day. I'm keeping their garden and yard weeded and tidy and I've told them to ask if they need anything, but they're fiercely independent (hence still both living at home at 90, I suppose) so he's still wandering off to the supermarket and back every few days and bringing back god knows what in the process. There's only so much you can do I suppose. Going to video chat with my mam later today and find out whether they're following orders or not. I'm prepared to flex my muscles.

It's all I know how to do. It's safe to assume I'm terrified most of the time tbh, the virus hasn't changed much in that respect.

He certainly said he was going to visit his mother tomorrow despite telling the rest of the country not to visit theirs, until his advisors quickly said he meant he'd be talking to her on Skype.

Contract the coronavirus

Me, pretty much ever since the Brexit referendum/Trump clusterfuck:

Ee, you've gone viral! If that's the right word to use in the circumstances...

At this stage I'll take Margate.