Meenzer

Reach for the stars, climb every mountain higher

Seems to be accepted wisdom that Tier 3 will be announced for London on Wednesday. But possibly not implemented until Saturday, because what we need so soon before the Christmas relaxation is a couple of nights of people socialising as much as they can.

Flag-shagged your post

I do love a good #thread

I wouldn't worry, house price inflation is basically all we have left to kid ourselves into thinking we're a productive economy, so it's also the one thing every government will protect to the last. And it's not like interest rates are going up any time soon, if ever again.

"Thread" and all that. Of course, none of this should come as the slightest surprise to anyone who's been paying attention, but, y'know....

This has been screamingly obvious all along, and I've gone from rolling my eyes and having a laugh at the good old British need to go out and get sozzled, to being genuinely annoyed at the fact that my life is going to be put on hold for maybe six months longer than it needs to be, all because people can't go without a draught Fosters for a bit longer. Pretty much everyone I know has cancelled their family visits and is staying in London for once, but there's inevitably an exception or two, and I must admit I'm finding it very hard not to reply to their posts about their travel plans with a tirade of abuse.

Jersey discus and hammer champion? Monsieur, veez zees vorld-class athletes you arr reely spoiling urs

Good to know, cheers

If "high-value business travellers" are exempt from the self-isolation rules now, then I imagine the prime minister is too. And masks aren't mandatory outdoors, albeit they're advisable if you're outdoors somewhere crowded. Still, you'd think Johnson's people would be more aware of the optics, especially if he's standing close to people too (which is meant to be not allowed, as you say), but this is the bloke who boasted about shaking hands with everyone at a hospital as the outbreak was taking off so what can you expect.

Sorted.

Oh no, don't worry. My apologies for raising such a hideous prospect even accidentally

Osborne may be broadly right about where we are now, but him and the best PM of CT's lunchtime laid all the groundwork for it by casually assuming they'd win a referendum on maintaining a status quo they'd spent years poising through austerity, so he can take his weirdo power stance and bog orf.

Blimey, how many people did Kay Burley have at her party?

Winner meets Mayweather. Loser too.

"He died doing what he loved - getting hits"

I've only paid for a haircut once in 26 years, but if I was on daft footballer money I reckon about the only thing I'd still do for myself is wipe my arse. And I'm not so sure I wouldn't outsource that too.

Wait till he realises he's booked the fella from the first series of Big Brother by mistake.

England get Andorra and San Marino in 2022 World Cup qualifying.

It's like impressionists who start each new voice with "I'm [name], and...". If you were any cop you wouldn't have to tell us.

MF, pictured later this evening

Sorry it wasn't the Tyne Theatre panto like

I was about to jump in and say "I'll have you know I saw her in an off-West End musical a few years ago and very good she was too", then I remembered that was Sheila Hancock. (EDIT: Who is also not dead yet.)

Second year of uni I lived in an inner suburb of Birmingham, an area that was once home to big numbers of Irish people but where the largest minority group was now Asian. One day my housemate was in the park opposite and an old Irish lady came up to him and, out of nowhere, said "You've got to watch out for those Pik-Paks!" "Pik-Paks" ffs.