Meenzer

Sorted.

Oh no, don't worry. My apologies for raising such a hideous prospect even accidentally

Osborne may be broadly right about where we are now, but him and the best PM of CT's lunchtime laid all the groundwork for it by casually assuming they'd win a referendum on maintaining a status quo they'd spent years poising through austerity, so he can take his weirdo power stance and bog orf.

Blimey, how many people did Kay Burley have at her party?

Winner meets Mayweather. Loser too.

"He died doing what he loved - getting hits"

I've only paid for a haircut once in 26 years, but if I was on daft footballer money I reckon about the only thing I'd still do for myself is wipe my arse. And I'm not so sure I wouldn't outsource that too.

Wait till he realises he's booked the fella from the first series of Big Brother by mistake.

England get Andorra and San Marino in 2022 World Cup qualifying.

It's like impressionists who start each new voice with "I'm [name], and...". If you were any cop you wouldn't have to tell us.

MF, pictured later this evening

Sorry it wasn't the Tyne Theatre panto like

I was about to jump in and say "I'll have you know I saw her in an off-West End musical a few years ago and very good she was too", then I remembered that was Sheila Hancock. (EDIT: Who is also not dead yet.)

Second year of uni I lived in an inner suburb of Birmingham, an area that was once home to big numbers of Irish people but where the largest minority group was now Asian. One day my housemate was in the park opposite and an old Irish lady came up to him and, out of nowhere, said "You've got to watch out for those Pik-Paks!" "Pik-Paks" ffs.

Reminds me of this, tangentially

Namibia tho (but yes, I thought US states first and foremost)

If Europe had been colonised by Europeans:

Love this

I chucked it into my general playlist of new music and it didn't sound out of place. (You can have that quote. )

There we go, I've designed his next bit of quality merch

Now that's what I call a European union. Joking aside, why are bastards like these always so committed to making everyone else's life worse just because they can't deal with their own internalised homophobia?

Social media, as always, is where to find the true nonbelievers: