Meenzer

Work experience can be cack, like. I did a week at the Lloyds bank on Grey Street when I was 14. They didn't like the fact I was better at the thrilling task of cheque processing than the vacant frizzy-haired lasses who were doing it full-time, so they sat me down in front of a computer and got me to read stuff for the rest of the week instead. Still, got my bus fares refunded at the end of it.

I'm a German-English translator, mostly business/financial stuff. Employed by a Nottingham-/Frankfurt-based company but I work from home, which is canny.

At school I could never get the hang of forward rolls. I have no idea why. As for the gym, leg strength is no problem, but anything involving arm exertion is a no-no because of my inherently limp wrists.

Ken Hom

Happy birthday, you sexy bitch.

Every job I've had has basically been the same thing in different clothes. Though I did suffer a summer of telephone market research when I was a stood.

Good point about the masks, but it was a special occasion rather than the norm. The equivalent of wearing your Trek gear at a convention vs. when you nip to the shop for some milk, I suppose, though obviously people still laugh at the former. As to why one is vaguely acceptable and the other isn't, I imagine it's not irrelevant that a Shearer-worshipping mong would likely be happier to plant a fist on you for challenging their sartorial elegance than the average pale-faced Trekkie.

If you turned up with a tuft of fluff atop a balding head and went round with one arm raised in celebration all night, you'd probably get that kind of response too...

Bruce Willis is actually dead all along!

Aye, that's what worries me more than dying itself, the fact that I just know I'll cark it when I haven't cleaned the flat for a week and I'm still wearing yesterday's pants.

How much are they? Between £1000 and £1500

That 21st anniversary Les Mis concert from Radio 2 at the weekend

Wow, that's terrible news. 27 is no age at all.

Harsh

Just opened a bag of Sainsbury's gala apples and the cutesy tagline on the outside says "Ideal for lunches!". Fuck me, you don't say.

Definitely sex. I've got wine as a substitute for the second and the excitement of Eurovision night as a substitute for the third.

Na </Mark>

I don't, I celebrate Festivus instead. I studied in Birmingham, so Winterval is now my celebration of choice.

Though on a similar note, I suppose if fabrication and lying to your kids are what you're looking to avoid then there's an argument against celebrating Christmas at all...

Unless you don't have enough money for decent presents and get yourself into stupid amounts of debt because you don't want your kids thinking that the jolly old fella with the beard is a reet miserly cunt.

I hear he was once a bloke before he became a professional gay.

Absolutely, people should be free to make their own lifestyle choices in this day and age! Even if they are deviant ones.

The exact same thread has gone down a storm on N-O. Apparently Bush is the new Hitler and the world will end soon so there's no point finding a job. Not even as a full-time Hitzfeld-bumming webmaster?