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If someone asked me to sum up the essence of Toontastic, I'd probably point them to this thread.

The Now Show from Radio 4. It's podcast-tastic! And, erm, actually a bit crap this week.

Ferking hell. There are times I'm glad I didn't shell out for Sky Sports. Not least because you can stick your fingers in your ears and go "la-la-la" much more easily when you're only listening to the radio in the first place.

It's weird, because when you travel on public transport in London and there's a "passenger incident" every other day (or what feels like it), you start to become desensitised to what those words - and even the less euphemistic "suicide" - actually mean. Nobody I know well has actually committed suicide, though several have been depressed to the point where (in sober contemplation) it's seemed like a realistic possibility, and an old schoolmate of the Smoothster and myself was a Tyne Bridge case about a year ago. In a way, even when it's someone who's a degree or two removed from you, it still hits home like a bullet because it's all so much more mundane, just some words on a page saying "this happened" rather than a mesh of confusing and conflicting emotions. There but for the grace of God, and all that. I've been in a place where I made a pretty half-arsed attempt at it myself. Not for attention, I hasten to add (I made a deliberate attempt to research realistic methods that'd cause the least amount of distress and disturbance, inasmuch as that was possible in pre-Internet days - but that particular information source and its contribution to the issue is a whole different kettle of fish), but weirdly, because of a very quiet, non-melodramatic, lucid acceptance that it didn't really matter to me, at that time, whether I continued to exist or not. At the same time, I obviously wasn't committed enough to do something with absolutely no kind of room for probability or chance, so by some definitions I suppose I was being cowardly about being cowardly. But like I say, it was more a case of "let's see what happens" - if it works, it works, if not then we'll see what tomorrow brings. I've been nowhere even near that point since then, and a hell of a lot of time (and experience) has gone by. I consider myself fortunate not to have succeeded, given how my life's turned out and the effects a person's suicide invariably seem to trigger in those who knew him/her. Moreover, though, I consider myself a pretty rational person (then as well as now), so even if I've changed enough to be unable to revisit exactly what put me in that kind of position in the first place, I try not to be too quick to judge others who feel the need to go through with it. Whatever their motivations may be. (And for what it's worth, I realise Fish-bashing is a popular sport on here and his initial comments were ill-timed, but regardless of whether I agree with them or not - and by and large I probably don't - I reckon he's defended his corner pretty well since then.) To help avoid this post appearing too me-me-me (and, ironically, borderline attention-seeking), I'll add that a friend of mine attempted to kill himself by taking an overdose, driven to it as a young teenager by the death of a parent and a pretty horrible "new" family situation. I can't imagine the person he's become not being around now, but then I suppose he wasn't that person at the time. In fact, I'm probably (still) far more affected by the idea of him having come close to death than he is himself. At the same time, I also know frequent self-harmers who, by their own admission, have come dangerously close to harming themselves terminally without setting out with the intention of actually doing so. Would they count as suicide cases if "successful"? I don't know. It's an overwhelmingly confusing subject really.

did you get the family bucket? if you get chiken heads in a family bucket youve been going to the wrong place mate South London?

I wouldn't take one to the pub or whatever, mind, because I'd only forget about it or it'd get nicked. By the most comfortable-with-their-sexuality bag-snatchers in town, at least.

Some friends bought me my first ever manbag as a belated birthday present. Unfortunately, the friends in question are wannabe comedians, so it's got a huge map of Hamburg on one side that renders it practically unwearable.

The Kwik-e-Mart is real... d'oh

Well it was a canny enough experience from the away end, I suppose, given the entertainment on offer on the pitch. The usual "just stand anywhere" policy meant I had to endure 15 minutes of being shoulder-to-shoulder with a charmingly racist chap who insisted on singing "Eng-er-land" whenever we sang "Newcastle" and shouting Nazi- and Hitler-themed comments at random moments, but what can you do? Good laugh otherwise, including catching up with our very own Matt (& co.) and Isegrim beforehand, and job done as regards topping the group. It's not every day you get to chant "we are top of the league" and mean it. Sort of.

Was that not the same time as the whole sting thing. Yeah. I got confused between the sting and the Lörrach escapade. Although, to be fair, our Smoothy probably does that quite a lot anyway.

To continue the veiled euphemism theme, maybe it was the day Smooth Operator sent photos of his "cock" to a bunch of random blokes.

Mine's called "INCOMING!!".

Yeah, in a "this could be TERRORISM... oh but it's not" kind of way.

Not a caption, but it pisses me off how keepers get away with coming out with their foot forward like that. If a striker did that, they'd be booked. Best one yet

Man? Hobbits would smack you for calling him one of them. Son of Gollum maybe. Bit harsh on Gemmill really. Less of the cheek, Opik! Föök öff

Man? Hobbits would smack you for calling him one of them. Son of Gollum maybe. Bit harsh on Gemmill really.

"No, lads, it's Y-M-C-A"

Agreed, he seems a right twat.

Shirley that would be 'cult of wanting to be a celebrity' No it isn't and don't call me Surely. Better.

I'm jealous of his line in subtle and understated tattoo art.

Well exactly, that's the challenge faced by any organisation representing a minority group, ensuring that they don't become "anti-majority" as a matter of principle. It doesn't mean that all such organisations are divisive and counter-productive by definition, nor should the majority (whatever that may be) feel automatically threatened by their existence, but as Gemmill says it does depend on the people involved and whether they can argue the toss without coming across as militant, unrealistic or just plain daft.

Necessitated as a result of the police being a racist organisation I would say. and further division and alienation being the solution, GREAT. By that logic, no minority group should ever be allowed to acknowledge itself as such. My comment was suggesting that should a "White Police Federation" have been set up it would be instantly branded racist, however a black version has clearly been tolerated, a racially themed group does little to enhance unity, and is another barrier in my opinion. Just out of interest, does your objection to minority groups having representation, identification and a forum to debate the issues specific to their circumstances only apply to race-based minorities, or is it an across-the-board thing? It just seems laced with paranoia somehow.

Necessitated as a result of the police being a racist organisation I would say. and further division and alienation being the solution, GREAT. By that logic, no minority group should ever be allowed to acknowledge itself as such.

This office I'm working in today and tomorrow is right by the main railway station, with elevated tracks running outside the window. I keep getting distracted and watching the pretty trains go by. I seem to have regressed to being a 6-year-old.

You're a honey. And so very, very right.