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I've been asked to play piano on a performance of "Into My Arms" at a friend's wedding next year. Well, they originally asked me to sing it too, but fuck that.

I've raided the shelves of the gay section at Lewisham Library again - well, it's actually a trolley that they keep moving around. Social exclusion-tastic! - so I'll be ploughing my way through Colm Tóibín's The Story Of The Night and Felice Picano's The Book Of Lies over Christmas. Picked up Nick Cave's novel too, looked like it might be worth a look.

Anyone want to offer odds on the first Yank (or Aussie) to make a stereotypical and, mercifully, largely out-of-date comment on British beer temperatures?

Meanwhile, Wycombe are 1 up at Charlton...

And then imagine being Sian Lloyd...

So that's what they mean by their "sizeable gay following".

With a foreign lass no less.

I'm heartbroken.

Supafan status revoked tbh. And remember, I went to the Portsmouth game when I was literally at death's door. I actually died on my way to Frankfurt.

You know you've come up with an advertising winner when urban myths immediately spring up claiming that the star of your commercial has been bullied to death.

"Freddie? Which way Freddie? Do you have a plan Freddie?"

Yes.

IDST

"Ayas"

Aye exactly. It's possible to separate feeling sorry for the lad at a personal level and being happy from a footballing point of view.

You calling wor Sib a poof like?

A healthy dose of Rachmaninov to start the day. It's good to pretend to be cultured sometimes.

Extended till tonight apparently.

Can't think of any one moment really, but moving back to the UK and settling in has been a damn sight easier than I expected, so to that. Oh, actually, my mate Ray's wedding in the summer was a class weekend. Perfect weather, fantastic reception and all the old crowd back together in one place and causing merry havoc.

I'll be trying to persuade the Aussie to join me in a straight pub for a change.

Are you getting one then, i bet you like having a bloke in shorts up against your wall, don't you? Only if it's wipe-clean vinyl.

I take it back. Fantastic company.

You wouldn't know mediocrity if it hit you with a hammer, 5th best club over the last decade, qualifying for Europe regularly, signing England players, have I forgotten anything? Think you needed to call me a stupid cuntish cunt Specifically "I see you've resorted to mindless insults again, you stupid cuntish cunt".

Did I ever say congrats on that, Zath? If not, congrats. Hell, even if so, congrats again.

Middle class cock tastes better though. At least they know how to wash.