Meenzer

Should just about be enough to squeeze out a win against the mighty EL TEAM.

My mum's bigger than your mum.

(PING!)

A must in every parent's garage.

(PING!) Arcade games are shit (PONG!) People who spend all their time on an internet forum are shit (PING!) People who live at home with their parents are shit (PONG!) People who have to drink to enjoy themselves are shit ....... .... .. Wind-up mission complete, sir!

Pipe down fatty I'll get you back with a more witty response later Lunchtime rush?

No idea - I take bags with me whenever I go shopping anyway, despite the patronising tone of Tesco's 'Green Clubcard Points'. The Germans have got me well trained Gyppo. Pssht. Fabric bags with obscure German slogans are where it's at. There's nothing quite like the confused xenophobia of a London bus-dweller who knows he's looking at something foreign but isn't clever enough to work out what exactly he should be shouting at you.

And this after years of being told that we should all drink 17 litres a day. There's clearly a thriving market for "latest research that expressly contradicts the last lot of latest research". Or at least some bloody good grants involved, since everybody seems to be at it rather than doing anything actively useful...

No idea - I take bags with me whenever I go shopping anyway, despite the patronising tone of Tesco's 'Green Clubcard Points'. The Germans have got me well trained

I was going to say, go there as well as (rather than instead of) your weekly shop. Not that I'm exactly nostalgic for German food, but it's always nice to pick up a nice bit of spicy sausage, etc. etc.

I hope so much that that's an ABBA cover.

Lawnmower Deth - Ooh Crikey It's Lawnmower Deth

Wondered why you were so popular. Even some friends have heard of you. Well aren't you just the stand-up comedian.

Just don't keep telling yourself "must get to sleep, this is getting daft now" or whatever when you go to lie down, or it'll never happen. If I absolutely can't sleep I'll often put on a comedy or spoken-word CD I've heard hundreds of times before - Bill Hicks, Hitchhiker's Guide, whatever - and try and kid my brain into believing that I'm planning on lying down and listening to the whole thing. Usually sends me off to sleep by the end of it.

1. I've actually got up on time today. 2. This doesn't mean I'm starting work yet or anything daft like that. 3. That's all really. 4. ??? 5. Profit

Aye, they're not bad. Nothing you haven't heard dozens of times before I suppose, but I'm no stickler for originality.

It's probably also an image they could've done without on Leazes's forum a few days ago, under the heading "The first HowayTheToon meet-up was a roaring success". Apparently...

That is fucking priceless. And you, my dear, are a bigger cock than the ones I love to nosh on.

Coming soon on Rob W's Holiday Pics...

I've read almost all of his stuff, so that's definitely on my list.

Quality YouTube comment war there.

Listening back to a vaguely themed CD I just knocked together for a mate: Godspeed You! Black Emperor - East Hastings Sigur Rós - Glósóli Ampop - January Thee Silver Mt. Zion Memorial Orchestra & Tra-La-La Band - God Bless Our Dead Marines Do Make Say Think - Ontario Plates Explosions In The Sky - The Only Moment We Were Alone Alexander Tucker - The Patron Saint Of Troubled Men The Album Leaf - The Outer Banks Under Byen - Om vinteren

A smooth and clean backtrack. Only if I said it in the first place numbnuts. Since when did Parky need evidence to back up a claim?

Summer Nights, obviously.

Or one hell of a tribute band at least.