Meenzer

46 seconds. Anything longer than 45, and I win a meringue, right? 47 seconds. No.

Just got in from a gig by the terrifically miserable iLiKETRAiNS over in sunny Camden. You've got to love a band with banter like: "You all having a good time?" (AUDIENCE CHEER) "This next one's about the plague."

Happy b'day

Back... and to the left Back... and to the left Back... and to the left

I don't know if I'd say camp. Dashingly handsome maybe, but definitely not camp. Ryan is playing "Lovefool" for us now. I think you're in there. What? Is it gay to like the Cardigans or something? If I'm gay for liking them I don't want to be straight. Naah, but dedicating songs on a radio show is surely a mating ritual in itself.

I don't know if I'd say camp. Dashingly handsome maybe, but definitely not camp. Ryan is playing "Lovefool" for us now. I think you're in there.

Whoa. Whoa. I'm freaking out with the coincidence happening here. What song should come on my iPod but: My Favourite Game by the Cardigans. That's their hometown, no? Yep. And you're my other camp Aussie friend. Freaky!

RadioK, Jönköping's student radio station. My camp Aussie friend Ryan is co-hosting a show for no particularly good reason. Nor is it particularly good.

Or "Baghdad Bob", as those amusing and culturally aware Americans insisted on calling him. Easily the worst aspect of the whole Iraq campaign. Well you had to admire him in a twisted way. It takes someone pretty special to say that there are no US forces in or anywhere near Baghdad when there were two US tanks clearly visible over his shoulder. I didn't mean him. You've lost me? You mean giving him a nickname was the worst aspect of Iraq? Yep. The Americans giving him a really, really, really shit nickname was an unparalleled atrocity.

Or "Baghdad Bob", as those amusing and culturally aware Americans insisted on calling him. Easily the worst aspect of the whole Iraq campaign. Well you had to admire him in a twisted way. It takes someone pretty special to say that there are no US forces in or anywhere near Baghdad when there were two US tanks clearly visible over his shoulder. I didn't mean him.

Or "Baghdad Bob", as those amusing and culturally aware Americans insisted on calling him. Easily the worst aspect of the whole Iraq campaign.

That's so true though. I even try to put my shopping on the belt in roughly the right order for me to be able to pack it quickly and efficiently, with minimum rummaging and wastage of available bag space. Told you they'd dragged me over to the dark side

No idea, but I can't blame them for not wanting people to try - threading is one of their unique selling points, along with unrivalled searchability, tons of storage and making your e-mails available to EVIL CORPORATIONS AND CHILD MOLESTERS. I need more coffee.

Should just about be enough to squeeze out a win against the mighty EL TEAM.

My mum's bigger than your mum.

(PING!)

A must in every parent's garage.

(PING!) Arcade games are shit (PONG!) People who spend all their time on an internet forum are shit (PING!) People who live at home with their parents are shit (PONG!) People who have to drink to enjoy themselves are shit ....... .... .. Wind-up mission complete, sir!

Pipe down fatty I'll get you back with a more witty response later Lunchtime rush?

No idea - I take bags with me whenever I go shopping anyway, despite the patronising tone of Tesco's 'Green Clubcard Points'. The Germans have got me well trained Gyppo. Pssht. Fabric bags with obscure German slogans are where it's at. There's nothing quite like the confused xenophobia of a London bus-dweller who knows he's looking at something foreign but isn't clever enough to work out what exactly he should be shouting at you.

And this after years of being told that we should all drink 17 litres a day. There's clearly a thriving market for "latest research that expressly contradicts the last lot of latest research". Or at least some bloody good grants involved, since everybody seems to be at it rather than doing anything actively useful...

No idea - I take bags with me whenever I go shopping anyway, despite the patronising tone of Tesco's 'Green Clubcard Points'. The Germans have got me well trained

I was going to say, go there as well as (rather than instead of) your weekly shop. Not that I'm exactly nostalgic for German food, but it's always nice to pick up a nice bit of spicy sausage, etc. etc.

I hope so much that that's an ABBA cover.

Lawnmower Deth - Ooh Crikey It's Lawnmower Deth