Meenzer

Entirely redundant.

Always a pleasure to see that pic rolled out again.

One of the words in that phrase is superfluous. Worst thing is it could just as easily be the first one...

Corrected for factual error. You are slaying me with your Australian humour. "Hey Andy Bell you cunt, where's your fucking T cells?" ...or maybe not. In my defence, (a) it's Friday and I'm demob happy, (b) I spent last night avoiding the unwanted attentions of a pub full of middle-aged gay Eurovision fans, so I'm feeling borderline homophobic this morning, and (c) Andy Bell's tight silver pants are far funnier than any Australian comedian.

If they wanted to be relevant today they'd call themselves "The Coldplay" anyway.

Corrected for factual error. You are slaying me with your Australian humour. "Hey Andy Bell you cunt, where's your fucking T cells?" ...or maybe not.

Damn you, damn you all the way to hell!

A lad in Heaton, £10.00 a go. He's in for a shock when the Bobster turns up. Plec in had and strumming. thats not bad for an hour like, The last time I enquired two blokes were charging £15 And what about guitar lessons?

Portrayal of the 1970s as "a bit less tolerant than today" shocker! You'd think someone in a teachers' union might have something actually useful to do with their time...

I'd never actually heard any of their stuff until recently (the benefits of having lived abroad for a while, I suppose), and I was amazed how pub rock/6th form band it sounded. Just, you know, not actually rehearsed or particularly competent or anything like that.

I always feel sorry (well, sort of) for insects who end up on international flights and the like. Must be a bit of a culture shock for a Mallorcan fly to accidentally end up in Newcastle.

More pearls of wisdom from Middle England... Double points on Daily Mail Bingo for that last one!

Do I get to choose the child? Definitely the latter though. Like Gemmill says, you could buy their love afterwards (so to speak), and if they're young enough they'll have the memory of a goldfish anyway. "Look, Lego!" GROOMING Like I'd fancy a deformed kid with a broken face.

Do I get to choose the child? Definitely the latter though. Like Gemmill says, you could buy their love afterwards (so to speak), and if they're young enough they'll have the memory of a goldfish anyway. "Look, Lego!"

Do I get to choose the people? Probably still the former though.

If the fame is for something worthwhile and leads to some degree of wealth or comfort, I'll take it while I'm alive. The idea of eternal renown is pleasing but I'm fairly unlikely to have any offspring to bask in the reflected glory, so hey.

Sweet lord, have you seen some of the reader comments? Daily Mail-tastic!

Medical condition that forces you to only eat exceedingly bland food, or medical condition that means the only thing you can drink is water? (Not trying to taunt Steve with this, honestly. Well maybe just a tiny bit.)

Choruses and hooks are so last century anyway.

That's tough, I mean I often wish I could go back and tell the younger version of myself to do this, that and the other differently, but starting all over again is a different matter. Obviously you wouldn't be aware of ever having been someone else, but I'd rather work on making myself a decent and generally wonderful person in this life, even if I have gone 28 years without bothering so far.

I like the music. "Jump" was my favourite of theirs.

If you think that's bad, you should see the kind of thing they get up to at the weekend:

Depends. If I choose the latter, will it make a difference if I start repenting?

Slight difference tbh. Aye. Make it "Dangerous Darkie" or "Charred Coon" and then I'd be impressed.

It's 3 seconds long, so the synopsis would be one syllable or so. It's really not worth it.