KeithJ

About to sign for Everton according to an ITK on Twitter!

New poll for you nick, how many people would like to see you banned!

How quickly things change in a year!

You'll be eating your words when Nolan guides West Ham to a Champions League final. When the fat cunt will say "They signed Nolan in his prime"

Exactly, at this stage its all about getting a little bit of experience behind them. They are school laddies on a trip half way over the world! I feel tiredness may have crept in for this one.

Hamburg signed Keegan in his Prime, I guess he forgot about when we bought Shearer in his prime! Fucking Muppet!

I am pissing myself laughing at this. I guess he forgot the European trips Newcastle have been on including the UEFA cup semi finals we reached. What the fuck have West Ham done? Losing Nolan however gaining two french midfielders highly rated and a striker who has a good goal ratio! This fat cunts got more holes in his story than a brothel!

He averages around 27 games a season which isnt really that bad!

Defo LuaLua, My mate who is a Brighton fan reckons its just a simple case of signing on the dotted line. Gutted to see him go!

Beat me to it haha! Best done well however like most of his career, he tends to hit a purple patch with clubs. In the championship he looked nothing short of a Donkey. I remember him hitting more fresh air shots than anything else. It helped confuse the defence of the opposition though! If we get £4mil then I wont complain assuming we get a striker in to replace him!

Journal reporting this morning that Best is up for sale with the move of BA coming in. They are asking £4mil for him as well which I think is a bit expensive for him. Best done well however like most of his career, he tends to hit a purple patch with clubs. In the championship he looked nothing short of a Donkey. I remember him hitting more fresh air shots than anything else. It helped confuse the defence of the opposition though! If we get £4mil then I wont complain assuming we get a striker in to replace him!

Spurs did a very similiar thing back in 2008 I think it was. Seemed to work for them. Happy Harry changed his football team completely!

Got to laugh at Lee Ryder confirming it was a real account. Another fine bit of work from Lee!

Mixed messages about how authentic the lualua account is. Evening chron says it's real but others doubting it!

He is away permanently according to SSN!

Update - says he will be a Brighton player in the matter of days!

Update on his twitter saying that a deal is almost done! I don't want him to go as he is just the kind of exciting kid we need coming through. I thought he was the perfect Pardew player who could get bums off seats! Done better than fucking Vuckic anyways!

Photoshop in a piano for the barton pic and you will have the White mans answer to Stevey Wonder!

ANDY CARROLL will return to Liverpool next month already facing a fight to prove he can fit into Kenny Dalglish's long-term plans. Carroll should have been leading the England Under-21 attack against Spain tonight. Instead, the Liverpool striker's summer holiday represents the calm before the storm as he readies himself for the most important season of his career. Just six months after Carroll's £35million move to Anfield from Newcastle, there are genuine concerns as to whether the striker has what it takes to make his time on Merseyside a success. The 22-year-old's lifestyle and lack of fitness are making many at the club fear he is destined to become an expensive mistake unless he can rid himself of bad habits and bad influences. The Geordie will be under intense pressure to start delivering in August after being given a relatively easy ride in his first six months at Liverpool. Although he scored twice, his fitness levels started to alarm the club during the climax to the campaign. His lack of contribution to the club's recovery from 12th to sixth under Dalglish slipped under the radar largely due to the impact of Luis Suarez. The Uruguayan, who signed on the same deadline day in January, was able to distract attention from the void left by Fernando Torres. There were plenty at Anfield who thought Carroll would have been better off in Denmark with the Under-21s rather than sunning himself on holiday And, while Torres was universally slammed for his difficulties settling at Stamford Bridge, it has been relatively ignored that, without Suarez's impact, the £35m spent on Carroll would have received much more damning scrutiny. Carroll, the eighth-most expensive footballer in history and the second-most expensive player playing for a British club behind Torres, was injured when he arrived and continued to pick up niggles during training. That was put down in part to his poor shape, which is not helped by his off-the-pitch routine. The striker has been described as a throwback to another era, but that applies to his social life as much as his style of play. Before arriving at Anfield his off-field reputation had eclipsed his impressive displays for Newcastle, for whom he scored 33 goals in 91 appearances. He was fined for a nightclub assault and also involved in a highly publicised training ground incident which left team-mate Steven Taylor with a broken jaw. Since arriving, he has been spotted celebrating Liverpool wins in city centre bars. The feeling is that close friends ought to be looking after him and warning him he will not survive at Anfield unless he oversees a massive change in approach. There were plenty at Anfield who thought Carroll would have been better off in Denmark with the Under-21s rather than sunning himself on holiday. But that would mean he'd miss the start of Liverpool's pre-season and Dalglish felt it could have done more harm than good. Instead, come the first week of July, the striker is likely to be worked like he has never been before. Those first few weeks of conditioning work will be the most crucial he will ever undertake. Should Carroll not emerge from that looking like a new player, it is no exaggeration to suggest his Liverpool career will be under immediate threat. The biggest problem will be how Carroll fits into a team which is to be built on youthful energy, movement and running opponents ragged. Serious questions were starting to be raised about whether Carroll should be in the team at all. And it will not get any easier for him in August Seven days at the end of last season exposed where Carroll's difficulties lie. In their penultimate away game at Fulham, the pace, athleticism and mobility of Dalglish's midfield and strike force demonstrated his long-term vision for how Liverpool will play. Suarez and Dirk Kuyt excelled because of their ability to drag defenders into areas they felt uncomfortable. Five days later at home to Spurs, Liverpool were unrecognisable. Carroll led the line looking unfit and unsuited to the high-tempo game Dalglish wants. His movement was poor, his touch suspect and the balance of the team was badly affected. He could hide behind a troublesome knee injury which forced him out of the final game at Aston Villa, but in reality the end of the season came at the right time. Serious questions were starting to be raised about whether Carroll should be in the team at all. And it will not get any easier for him in August. Dalglish's summer transfer targets are designed to add more vibrancy in midfield and attack. Jordan Henderson will be as likely to play right midfield as central. Stewart Downing and Charlie Adam's likely arrival will raise the possibility of Dalglish favouring 4-3-3. The interest in Ipswich's Connor Wickham will offer more competition, although on the basis of their form at the end of last season Suarez and Kuyt are undroppable. So where will Carroll play? He will certainly offer a different option with his physical presence, but the Kop was anticipating much more for £35m. He is in danger of transforming himself from the new Alan Shearer into an impact sub. Still, there is no doubt that under Dalglish Carroll will be given the chance to thrive. "We did not sign Andy for six months, we signed him for six years," was the manager's response to any Carroll questions last season. Sorry doing this all on the iPhone since the Missus has taken the laptop away for the weekend!

http://www.newsoftheworld.co.uk/notw/nol_s...-lifestyle.html There you go Tom!

Just hope the big player being talked about coming to here from Spain isn't 34 year old Senna!

I am not going! I have said this on twitter that the owners want to replace me with someone younger and cheaper! I will see out the final year of my contract!

Henderson for £20mil! That is a very, very good deal for Sunderland. In fact I hope Nial Quinn is wearing a black mask and holding a gun to make that daylight robbery look more authentic!

Personally, I think Nolan has never been in Pardews long term plans. Sure he has done wonders this season and been a real star. When you look at all the comments Pardew has made about Ben Arfa, playing him in the hole, etc. Then you can see Nolan isnt in the long term plan. I said in my predictions that Nolan wouldnt be in our first team by November and it might not even be this time come August. £5mil and he is gone. Pardew wants to play fast and free flowing football. Nolan doesnt fit in to that style.