Glasgow Mag

It's not an excuse, but does seem to be a symptom of it. I'm afraid anyone who says PMT is not real has to be a bloke. It's a horrible, horrible thing. When I've got PMT I know I'm a bitch. The world is a horrible place, I take everthing too personally and everybody is against me. I'm irrational and know it! 3850[/snapback] Surely, a hot bath and a cup of herbal tea will sort it...?

Shopping - why drag me around all the sales at Braehead on a thursday night late-night shopping when everyone else is there? Why make me carry the handbag that happens to match what I'm wearing better than what she's wearing therefore making me look like a divvy? Why make me carry a load of items - skirts, blouses, tops, all around the shop for half an hour, then declaring, "actually I don't think I'll bother trying them on after all..."?!

Hi Buddy, Hope you are enjoying Hong Kong it sounds like an amazing place. Got beaten 2-1 last night but Bowyer scored a screamer of an away goal to keep us in there with a little hope. You enjoy the rest of your holiday and we'll see you back at the Old Skool on your return

In this thread, I hope that the men on Toontastic can ask questions they have been wanting to find out about women, in order to help them deal with the women in their lives. It may help you to deal with your wife or girlfriend or wife, or it may simply help you to understand the whole female breed a bit better than before. The questions may be simple, or they may be more complex, emotionally-challenging scenarios that require the help of an agony aunt. Thanks to the ladies - Mags, Catmag, Alreetlike, Bridget, Toonraider and any others who can provide the answers. I'll start - why on earth do women do this with their hair when they try to dry it? How do you do it? It looks awfully complicated to get it like that. How do you learn how to do it? Do you pick it up from Sugar and Just Seventeen in your formative years? Does your mum teach you? Thanks ladies, I look forward to your replies with great interest.

So, Boyo, what mgazines if any do you like? What do you remember if anything about your first day at school? If you were to make a fruit salad what would you have in it? What hobbies do you have? Organic food - your opinions please.

Thats me!!! 3409[/snapback] It's meant to be an anti-Jimbo actually...

Well, ladies and gentlemen, this afternoon we have the sixth installment of our exciting and very popular new series. In case you have been asleep or on the planet mars for a day, we have a brand new Meet the Members series. This is brought to you, with approval of the team at all new Toontastic. I, Glasgow Mag, am your roving reporter. I aim to take you behind the username, to make the username become a real life person. This afternoon, I would like to take you to a giant in the history of Toontastic - in more ways than one. For while he is 6 feet 8, and that makes him a tall man, he is also a giant influence on his fellow posters. In fact, if I had to nominate one (non-female, for obvious reasons!) poster on the board who I would most like to meet for a pint and a natter, it would be this man. From when I first entered the boards as a mere young apprentice, this man has taken me under his wing much like Paul daniels is doing with that prick Dylan on Neighbours right now. He makes me feel welcome, he makes me laugh, and I admire him. However, this is a man with many facets to him. While he is source of endless fun, he also has a lorra lorra love to give, as "ar Cilla" would have to say: Yes, ladies and gentlemen, our featured member is absolutely smitten. And rumour has it that the lucky lady is not of the inflatable variety. In fact, I'm told she might not be from too far away from this board! Yes ladies and gentlemen, you guessed it, it's...... Peasepud!!! Real first name: Peter Nickname: Peasepud, Lanky, Arsewhipe (too many to mention) Age: 35 Occupation: Civil Servant, Inland Revenue Location: Gateshead Language(s) spoken? English, Geordie, Pisshed Avatart - why? For some reason about 15 years ago I decided that it would make a great tattoo and had an agreement with me mate that if the Toon ever won owt, I'd get it done. This is the nearest I will probably ever get to it happening. Previous avatarts? Other versions of Pooh (remember me first one?, Keirons body, poohs heed! (scary)), Vorderman in various states of undress while spelling rudey words, me webcam and the Jilly + Jelly. Tell us when you first joined the boards? When was it and how did you feel as a beginner? I've totally lost track but Id say about 3 years ago, it was a little daunting all these others who obviously all got on and me sorta stuck out on the side, unfortunately the bastids spoke to me and now look what happened! Board highlights? Winning Mod Idol, ahhh the memories, women, fast cars, fame, all the trappings of success. Board lowlights? The final few weeks of Newcastle-Online What would you be doing if you weren't doing your current job? Pimp Pets? One cat, Millie (after Jackie) ....oh and Mancy? shes the original! I play a bit like.... Bernard Manning, too slow to do owt and permanently shouting abuse at everyone else, nah I have a semi-useful right foot for lobbing crosses in. Football heroes? Beardsley, Waddle, Shearer, Pele. Football villains? Roy Keane Best advice given? "You should put that away sonny, you'll get arrested." Ideal partner? someone who likes a laugh, loves the Toon and lives abroad (ED - NOW WHO COULD THAT BE...? ) Ideal dinner date? Kebab and a few pints with the person above after watching us stuff the makems. Ideal meal? Mixed Grill Can you cook? Yes, do a mean Sunday Roast with proper Yorkies and meat (none of that frozen shite). Current wheels? Vauxhall Vectra 2.5 V6 SRi Biggest influence? Class A drugs. TV programmes? Phoenix Nights, Office, MOTD, CSI Burger and chips or fish and chips? Fish and Chips as long as its with Mushy peas. Chinese or indian? What do you order? Indian, Madras, Pilau rice, onion bhaji, keema nan. Favourite tunes? All time favourite is "Yes - McAlmont and Butler", musically I like lots of stuff, old Madchester, current indie such as Maximo Park, Futureheads, Kasabian, Abi Titmuss or Jodi Marsh? Isnt there an option for Jodi Titmuss or Abi Marsh? eithers gotta be better than them two! George Clooney or Bradley Pitt? Oooooh Bradley (in a non Gay way obviously!) Favourite film? Reservoir Dogs If I won a million pounds.... I'd have £999,980.27 more than I have now. Age first drunk alcohol? First drink? Cant remember the first time, but I do remember getting ratted on Bells Whisky at a 6th form disco when 16, woke up in the centre circle of the school pitch. Ever suspended/expelled from school? Why? Suspended once for fighting in the Bowling Alley on the West Road while on a school trip. Favourite insult? You have a face that only Gemmills mother could love. Not a lot of people know that......... Most you've ever spent on an item of clothes? I dont go for labels much, rather pick clothes on their look and fit, actually its just on fit anything that comes in my size, £400 on a suit would be me most expensive thing. How many pairs of shoes do you own? Inlcuding football boots? then 4, if not then 3, 1 pair black dress shoes, 1 pair Sambas (need someone to bring me big ones from America ), 1 pair running shoes. I'm obsessed with..... dunno about that but I do have a strange obsessive compulsive thingy, I cant leave the office at night without wandering to the window and looking out 3 times. In 5 years time, I hope to be..... Alive. Well, readers, I'm sure you'd like to join me in thanking Peasepud for this sat-in-the-pub-style natter with Peasepud where he gave us some frank and honest answers to my very probing questions. Peter, I admire you for your honesty and I'm sure I'm not the only one. I feel a better person for listening to him speak, and hope he is successful in his pursuit of true love on this board. Heaven knows it he deserves it. Thanks, big man, for entering into the good-natured spirit of this project. I hope you enjoyed it too. Any more questions for the irrepresible Peasepud?? Please ask now as I open the forum to you, the people who matter most, the members! ***KEEP LOOKING FOR THE NEXT INSTALLMENT OF 'MEET THE MEMBERS'!***

Well that buggers a fair few of me plans 3367[/snapback] Hmmm...was bugger the best choice of words there? 3374[/snapback] Too far! Let the romance flourish...

Well that buggers a fair few of me plans 3367[/snapback] What like piggy-backs and firemans lifts?

Well, ladies and gentlemen, this afternoon we have the fifth installment of our exciting and very popular new series. In case you have been asleep or on the planet mars for a day, we have a brand new Meet the Members series. This is brought to you, with approval of the team at all new Toontastic. I, Glasgow Mag, am your roving reporter. I aim to take you behind the username, to make the username become a real life person. This afternoon, I would like to introduce you to one of the board's true stars - she has quite a fan club on here with all those hormonal young men. I had to do quite a lot of convincing to get her to do the interview - this is the first she has ever done, and it contains some startling revelations. However she is game for a laugh and was a true pleasure to work with on this project. Direct from her hideaway retreat in Connecticut, enjoy it members, it's one of the board's few proper ladies.... It's...... Mags!!! Real first name:Lisa Nickname:Mags, Crash Age:36 Occupation:Support specialist/ logistics Location:Connecticut- northeast US Language(s) spoken? English fluently, American fluently, understand spanish better than I speak it. Avatart - why? Ermm... I liked it? Besides that there's never been anything too significant about my ava... the closest you could say had any relevance was the briefly used gif. one of sniper cross hairs going from Bush to Blair to various and sundry political figureheads. Previous avatarts? Baby magpie, the above mentioned gif. ava, a maracas playing marsupial. Tell us when you first joined the boards? When was it and how did you feel as a beginner?Was it a year and half ago? Maybe two years. Thought it looked goos, great info in the Newcastle forum, general was a bit intimidating as so many seemed to know each other from real life. Board highlights? That's quite a range. Board lowlights?phpbb critical error What would you be doing if you weren't doing your current job? Back in nursing- to be honest thinking about a return top the medical field full time. Pets? 3 cats, 2 parrots, 2 guinea pigs, 1 fish, 2 sons I play a bit like....shola on crack crossed with a rabid ferret 'GettheballGettheballgetthefeckingball!!!!!!!!!' Football heroes? Johan Cruyff, in awe of Pele, and Big Al. Football villains? Eric Cantona and Maradona Best advice given?In general? You only live once, so make the most of every second. Ideal partner? Such a paragon does not exist. I'll settle for someone who can tolerate and come to be amused by my quirks and foibles. Ideal dinner date? Someplace quite- good food, good wine, enjoyable company. Ideal meal? LOVE indian food, but am a huge fan of seafood at the moment Can you cook?Been told I am an exceptional cook. 8) Current wheels? Sebring, but it'll be a Mustang soon enough. Current wheels? Biggest influence?My Aunt Kathy TV programmes? Meh- can't be arsed to watch much more than the news Burger and chips or fish and chips? Neither- fatty Chinese or indian? What do you order? Indian Favourite tunes?Too many to list Abi Titmuss or Jodi Marsh?Neither. Angie Jolie George Clooney or Bradley Pitt? Clooney Favourite film?Dogma If I won a million pounds.... There'd be one HUGE piss up in October! Age first drunk alcohol? First drink?3. Missed my 3rd birthday party family legend states that my dad got me well drunk on beer. Ever suspended/expelled from school? Why?Nup- good catholic schoolgirl me. Favourite insult? None- I let my sarcasm speak for itself. Sometimes the tone of the message and what's implied is much more effective than the words. Not a lot of people know that..... I'm afraid of heights Most you've ever spent on an item of clothes? Dunno? How many pairs of shoes do you own?About 20 or so I'm obsessed with..... being considerate. When I'm not careful I can be such a selfish brat. In 5 years time, I hope to be.... as comfortable with myself as I am today. Well, readers, I'm sure you'd like to join me in thanking Mags for this snap=shot view of her and her extrordinary life. I feel a better person for listening to her speak, and hope you feel the same. Perhaps you can now show Mags some more understanding now that you know her a bit better. Thanks, Mags, for entering into the good-natured spirit of this project. I hope you enjoyed it too. Any more questions for the lovely Mags?? Please ask now as I open the forum to you, the people who matter most, the members! ***KEEP LOOKING FOR THE NEXT INSTALLMENT OF 'MEET THE MEMBERS'!***

I know that a 'jock' is supposed to look like the following, and I know that it's mainly an American phenomenon, but can anyone actually attach meaning to the word? Does anyone on here consider themself to be a 'jock' in the true meaning of the word? Just wondering.

Well, ladies and gentlemen, this morning we have the third installment of our exciting und very popular new series. In case you have been asleep or on the planet mars all afternoon, we have a brand new Meet the Members series. This is brought to you, with approval of the team at all new Toontastic. I, Glasgow Mag, am your roving reporter. I aim to take you behind the username, to make the username become a real life person. Tonight, I would like to introduce to you a living legend in Toontastic circles. He's been here since it started, and he admits in this frank and open interview that he has changed a lot since he started here.He has an opinion on everything. He is the Godfather of the board. Here is everything you wanted to know about him but were too scared to ask.... It's...... Geordie Boyo!!! Real first name: Billy-Lee M Nickname: Boyo…! Age: 24 Occupation: Admin monkey Location: Newcastle upon Tyne Language(s) spoken? Unknown… Avatar - why? Some members have called me GB. I just happened to have a t-shirt with the GB logo so thought…I’ll use it! Previous avatar’s? The only one which stands out would be the famous mug-shot avatar. I remember JJ being the first to frighten members on here with his own so thought I’d try and match it by pulling a hideous face in a Toon top and got a few laughs out of it so kept it…for a while. Tell us when you first joined the board? When was it and how did you feel as a beginner? You would have to ask Phillip Craig or JawD when I first came to life on here as I’d imagine it would have been not long after Toontastic was first created. I was new to the internet as well as Toontastic so I didn’t first appear as friendly as I come across today. I was a lot younger…and angrier…! So I didn’t take too well to different views, especially when it came to criticism on certain players which I felt was harsh at the time all thou I tend to ignore most negative threads these days. Board highlights? I guess I’ve developed my own character on here, but never a false one! I try to come across as considerate and honest as I know I am in person, however as I‘ve said I can be too outspoken at times too. My highlights as Boyo have never really been on purpose, its just a natural thing with me and I don’t mean that in a big headed way as I tend to put my foot in it creating classic moments and classic threads. I guess you could say I can be a bit of a numpt at times, if I’m honest…! Board lowlights? Getting in petty arguments and never walking away. What would you be doing if you weren't doing your current job? I’d be in a different job…! Pets? Used to have a dog, it died, end of story…. I play a bit like....a blind Tino Asprilla Football heroes? Peter Beardsley, Paul Gascoigne & Alan Shearer. Football villains? Vinnie Jones, Dennis Wise & Lee Hendrie Best advice given? “Anybody who doesn’t look you in the eye when talking to you, is a LAIR!” - My dad. “If you love life don’t waste time as time is what life is made up of” - Bruce Lee Ideal partner? An easy going trust worthy happy go lucky gal - My lass. Ideal dinner date? A Chinese buffet. Ideal meal? Lasagne & garlic bread. Can you cook? Could I back flip out of my chair right now?…no Current wheels? Screwed in plastic black wheels on the bottom of my chair. Ideal wheels? Bigger screwed in plastic black wheels. Haven’t got my licence yet so I’ll answer that question more maturely in the near future hopefully. Biggest influence? My dad & Bruce Lee! TV programmes? Little Britain, Blackadder, Fawlty Towers & Auf Wiedersehen Pet. Burger and chips or fish and chips? Burger & chips simply because I prefer burger to fish. Sorry like, there’s no punch line…! Chinese or Indian? What do you order? Italian. Favourite tunes? Eric Clapton - Cocaine (Not that I go near shit like that, just like the tune) Prodigy - Kilos (Always put that song on without fail when I’m shooting pool.) I kinda like Mark Knopfler’s Fere Well Northumberland tune too at the minute. Abi Titmuss or Jodi Marsh? Abi Titmuss I suppose…nah, my lass! George Clooney or Bradley Pitt? What! No Tom Cruise? Favourite films? The Good, The Bad & The Ugly. Enter the Dragon. Lord of the Rings trilogy. Scarface & Gladiator. If I won a million pounds....I’d sort my family and close friends out then buy a new home for me and my lass. Probably by myself a mixed martial arts centre and a bar or too abroad. Age first drunk alcohol? First drink? I had a sip of carling when I was about 7 I think, from my dad. Ever suspended/expelled from school? Why? I’ve been suspended twice for knocking off and fighting. GRRR’ NUMPT! Favourite insult? Numpty! Not a lot of people know that.........I’m a legend… Most you've ever spent on an item of clothes? £140 on a new suit. How many pairs of shoes do you own? One pair, that’s all you need…! I'm obsessed with.....coming on here and being lazy…! In 5 years time, I hope to be....not be lazy, but still come on here. Well, readers, I found that a fascinating insight into the persona of Geordie Boyo. I've always wondered how that great mind worked, and I'm sure I'm not the only one who is now that bit closer to understanding his inner workings. Thanks, Boyo, for opening the window into your life for 5 minutes. Any more questions for Geordie Boyo? Please ask now as I open the forum to you, the people who matter most, the members! ***KEEP LOOKING FOR THE NEXT INSTALLMENT OF 'MEET THE MEMBERS'!***

Let's put that one to Jimbo. Jimbo?

COMING YOUR WAY REAL SOON - YOU GET TO 'MEET THE MEMBERS' BEHIND THE FOLLOWING USERNAMES: Definitely Maybe***Smoggeordie***Geordie Boyo***Isegrim***Medina*** With numerous others in the pipeline............

Well, ladies and gentlemen, tonight we have the second installment of an exciting new series. In case you have been asleep or on the planet mars all afternoon, we have a brand new Meet the Members series. This is brought to you, with approval of the team at all new Toontastic. I, Glasgow Mag, am your roving reporter. I aim to take you behind the username, to make the username become a real life person. Tonight, I would like to introduce to you a well-liked, upstanding memberl who has become a senior figure these boards. You'll see a lot of him around, in his unofficial 'father figure' role so here is everything you wanted to know about him but were too scared to ask.... Real first name: James Nickname: Jimbo Why no longer Jimbo Asprilla? No good reason, it was just quicker to type Jimbo than Jimbp Asprilla. Why no Cisse avatar? He's a Liverpool player now, I couldn't bring myself to have him as my Avatar anymore. Age: 30. Occupation: Electrical Engineer. Location: Lowestoft, Suffolk. Language(s) spoken? English (badly) French (barely) Avatar - why? I hate anything aloof or pretentious, so any avatar I have is always tongue in cheek or self depricating, Burt Reynolds fits the bill at the moment. Previous avatarts? Cisse/Village people biker/Captain Kirk/Boris Johnson. Tell us when you first joined the boards? When was it and how did you feel as a beginner? About 3 years ago on the old Toontastic, I think if first saw a link to it on a newsgroup ( a Newcastle Newsgroup, not an "Art" one.) Board highlights? Hughsie's abortion. Board lowlights? Hitler Admin's and phpbb Critical Error. What would you be doing if you weren't doing your current job? Tough question, I've been in the same job since I left school, 15 years ago, I didn't know what I wanted to do then and I'm not sure I'd know what else to do now either, maybe script writer in the porn industry. Pets? Nope, used to have cats until one scared my baby daughter's face for life, not again thanks. I play a bit like.... Douglas Barder. Football heroes? Asprilla, Keegan, Van Basten, Lineker, Butcher, Gazza. Football villains? How long have you got ? Savage/Voller/Gullit/Keane/Nevilles/Mark Hughes/Cantona/Maradona/Simeone/Mihilavic. Best advice given? "If you don't fuck them, someone else will" Ideal partner? My right hand. Kelly Brook. Ideal dinner date? Bill Hicks. Ideal meal? Chinese, Aromatic crispy duck with Hoi sin sauce. Can you cook? Beans on toast, Pot-Noodle, Chilli Con Carne, Spag bol. Current wheels? Toyota Estima Import, 2.2lt 4x4 TD 8 seater, 19 mpg. Biggest influence? Tough question, probably my brother-inlaw, gave me a real world education, compared to my straight laced parents. TV programmes? CSI, American Chopper, Mythbusters, Soccer AM, Playboy channel 3 minute preview. Burger and chips or fish and chips? Fish and chips, preferably Skate ! Chinese or indian? What do you order? Crispy Duck ! Favourite tunes? U2, Pear Jam, Nirvana. Abi Titmuss or Jodi Marsh? If I have to choose one it would be Marsh, real tits score high ! George Clooney or Bradley Pitt? Neither ! Favourite film? Down the hatch 7. ok Pulp Fiction If I won a million pounds.... I'd Never work again !!! Age first drunk alcohol? First drink? probably about 7, my dads home brew. Ever suspended/expelled from school? Why? Never, I was a model student....... OK, Nearly got expelled for Asault, lucky for me the head teacher was a magistrate. Favourite insult? up your bollocks ! Not a lot of people know that......... I used to be a boxing coach. Most you've ever spent on an item of clothes? £110, leather jacket. How many pairs of shoes do you own? about 4. I'm obsessed with..... Wanking !!! yes I really am !! In 5 years time, I hope to be.... No comment Any more questions for Jimbo? Please ask now as I open the forum to you, the people who matter most, the members! ***KEEP LOOKING FOR THE NEXT INSTALLMENT OF 'MEET THE MEMBERS'!***

Can't think of one for Toonraider............

"Under the grill" and "melted to the point of being ever-so-slightly browned" respectively. </delia> 2754[/snapback] Do you partake in that every day, or just on special occasions? What about tomorrow morning what will you have?

That bloke, what was his name - was it Careful Shouting?

Hot milk on your cereal - never though tof that idea before. What made you think of such an idea, would you do it with coco-pops too?

I suppose the rye bread is quite a German thing, but the tomato/mozzarella combination is pseudo-Italian if anything. And yeah it's nice, though mozzarella can be pretty bland, hence the basil (a dash of pepper and a drizzle of olive oil don't hurt either). 2735[/snapback] When you say toasties, is that done in a toastie machine or under the grill or by some other German method? Do you make sure the Mozzarella is melted or do you prefer it formed?

Ian Beale With the following avatar: It's his favourite Eastenders character - what more can he say?

I've never thought of having anything like that before. Is it a German thing? Is it nice? I just had a cup of coffee (con leche, sin azucar), a glace of OJ (Tesco finest - mmm) and a bowl of Coco Pops with milk.

What is haloumi, what does it taste like, what is the texture like and should I try it?

Hymbo - a church-loving lad without any interest in sex. Deplores masturbation. Addicted to singing hyms from the bible - to satisfy his habit he has to sing at least 10 hyms a day.