Glasgow Mag

Genital herpes - latent for most of the time but used to burn like fuck when I was younger. Also gingivitis with halitosis but controlled with mouthwash. Mild tennis elbow. Otherwise I'm in pretty good nick.

Cry me a river....! Any small rivers let me know

Just back from a friend's house. Was desperate to "offload some extra baggage" in the lavatory but was horrified to discover an empty bogroll tube, and no more in the vanity cupboard. What would you do in this "shituation"? On this occasion I was fortunate that it came out in a one-r and as smoothly as if my ringpiece had been coated with WD40. I was therefore confident that there would be no residue and consequently no need to wipe. But I was lucky, got away with it this time. Anyone else want to share any similar experiences?

Went to Asda this evening as my local Tesco and Sainsbury's were both shut. A few observations: (1) The place stinks as soon as you go in the door. (2) Every second shopper is on their mobile phone (probably to some fat bastard wedged into the sofa at home) shouting, "Do you want blueberry or chocolate muffins, crinkled or straight kettle chips?" (3) Tons of unruly children running around not looking where they are going, parents screaming at them. (4) I'd never buy anything fresh from this store, only wrapped stuff. Their bakery, meat, fish, ready meals look bloody garbage. Is it just me or has anyone else had similar experiences in this chain of supermarkets? Ever experienced it to such a degree elsewhere?

http://news.bbc.co.uk/newsbeat/hi/health/newsid_8016000/8016138.stm pair of peroxide numbskulls...

Here I have to admit that I started buying OK Magazine for my wife when she was in hospital after having our baby in November. Kind of got into a habit - a little 'treat' for her in the weekly shop. However I have refused to buy it for the past 3 weeks out of principle because it is paying that piece of filth so much money. Thought this week it'd have finished with her but that cover is a bloody joke. THey must have it on good authority that the slug will croak it this week, else what are they going to put on next week's issue? 'World Exclusive: My Funeral Plans'?

Her kids will be adopted by The Mirror tbh and not want for anything. They will become celebrities in their own right and be famous purely for having a dead celebrity thicko trout faced mum. Probably get into drugs before they are 12 and we'll witness a heartbreaking yet strangely fascinating tale of these poor orphan boys (jack killed himself years since) smoking crack on Blue Peter while being interviewed by an ever youthful Carol Vorderrman etc etc etc etc. Sad thing is these two boys are ugly big-lipped trout faces too. Devastating legacy they are being left with. Racist! What makes that racist? I fully expect little Freddy and Bobby to appear on Celebrity Big Brother in 15 years time, and to get their meat and two veg out and be caught on live TV saying, "Look at my salami stick!". Also a concert at Wembley stadium in 10 years time to be headlined by stars such as Eoghan Quigg in memory of Jade - The Peoples Princess.

Her kids will be adopted by The Mirror tbh and not want for anything. They will become celebrities in their own right and be famous purely for having a dead celebrity thicko trout faced mum. Probably get into drugs before they are 12 and we'll witness a heartbreaking yet strangely fascinating tale of these poor orphan boys (jack killed himself years since) smoking crack on Blue Peter while being interviewed by an ever youthful Carol Vorderrman etc etc etc etc. Sad thing is these two boys are ugly big-lipped trout faces too. Devastating legacy they are being left with.

Hulk Hogan Sue Pollard

Can I plead with everyone on here to avoid OK magazine this week, and any other media outlets with whom the repulsive shit has made official deals and who are paying her?

"Britain's Bravest Bride". Christ. Mrs SLP will be seething tbh..... What a fuckng munter she is. Very ugly creature, inside and out.

Sorry but I have only the harshest of words to say about her. She is wicked and evil to the core. A total waste of space who will not be missed in any way, shape or form. Even her children will benefit from an infinately better upbringing in her absence, and are thankfully just about young enough to forget about her. Were she to survive, these two boys would likely grow up to be the next generation of car theives, thugs and drug-addicts as a result of her parenting skills. How many times have people had their lives ended prematurely and unfairly, when friends and family have said, "he/she was a good person, caring and kind, they didn't deserve this, it's always the good 'uns that get taken early"? Can anyone honestly say this about Jade Goody? I'd like to think of this unfolding story as an example of natural selection. By having her reproductive organs removed, this has halted her ability to reproduce any further and so limit the spread of her genes and traits. By allowing her to die, it rids the world of a bad person who has nothing to offer to society.

I'm just going home from nightshift to have my breakfast. Think I might stop off in Asda on the way home and buy some powdered scrambled egg mixture and have this on toasted rye bread with fried sweetcorn fritters, topped with ketchup. Wash it down with some Sunny D and Kenco Gold. Might surprise my missus with breakfast in bed. What about you lot?

I think I spotted some canny buildings there too, but that could have been anything. Glasgow's much nicer and friendlier. FACT. Thats what our mate says! (He's from Glasgow) Thanks very much for the info GM. Very interesting. As it turns out I wont be going now, mainly cos I'm a big girl's blouse and whilst they are up there hubby and son going to watch the racing at Cowdenbeath raceway on the Saturday night as they are so close to it. I just dont fancy it, cold and tired standing there all night shivering my tits off! Also I am looking after my neighbour's cats whilst they are in Italy, (Catmag will approve) so it all became too complicated for me to go too. I'm sorry I wont see the Forth Bridge though. As it turns out there's a chap Hubby makes race parts for who happened to ring him today to post some parts up to him, further discussion revealed he lives 3 miles from Auchtermuchty, so they have been invited to go watch the racing with them and stay at his place overnight ! What a small world. I will also be sorry to miss the ice-cream shop, as I bet they have turkish delight flavour. But I will mention it to hubby as he is a big ice-cream fan!! Yes they have Turkish Delight flavour ice-cream. And Irn Bru sorbet - the only place I have ever come across this! Oh well, your loss...!

I think I spotted some canny buildings there too, but that could have been anything. Glasgow's much nicer and friendlier. FACT.