adios

Add Alsatians and I think you've got the basis of a religion there.

You'd want to watch that anger, you'll give yourself a hernia.

If it's merely the "luck of the draw", why is it such a common problem for footballers?

I'm away for 5 minutes and I'm being outed! Careful Renton, you've probably picked the poster most likely to get on a plane just to piss someone off.

We're shite glory-hunters tbh.

Where's our resident law expert when we need him? I'm assuming getting a law passed to legalise would be tougher than getting a exemption for coffee houses in the smoking ban, never know with politicians, though. It's a fucking outrage it's not been done yet tbh.

Do you mean because I'm in France, or because of the smoking ban? Or just because I'm too soft...

Amen.

It's not the age, Rob, it's the crapness.

euphemism?

Invented stand-up comedy too, by the sounds of that routine.

IRONING!

Definitely not a writer...N-O will take you on, though.

How very dare you!

Not really got the hang of the internet yet, then?

It does seem like you've been saying that for over a year now...

Chelsea/Newcastle?

I would, but then I didn't see what he did at the semi-final, did get a play-by-play commentary from Alan Oliver, though, so I might as well have. He did look good at the start, maybe when Souness came in he just thought, what the fuck am I doing playing for this twat? Ferguson to Souness, quite a difference.

There's a joke in there somewhere about you not being able to fit down Elaine but that.d be too crass, so... Lou, it's my way into the clique, apparently, have I been lied to? If you find me one I like I'll use it, I'm feeling pretty uninspired at the moment.

Could be your chance tbh

You're more likely to die of a public smoking ban than on an alien spacecraft tbh.

You're not that cool tbh.

Not a bit early for the hard drugs?

It'll never catch on.