Howmanheyman

A Jew, Muslim and a Roman Catholic walk into a bar, barman says, "What a fantastic example of a harmonious multi-cultural society".

Daft thing to say but FFS this tip toe-ing around Islam is getting a bit fucking tedious with the professionally outraged usual suspects being, err, outraged once more.

Apparently The Strawberry ran out of burgers and one of their customers didn't take the news too well.

Barney jinxed this game if we lose. I honestly feel we can get at these and give them trouble........BUT.........I just have a feeling the first goal gets a good win for whoever gets it. I can see heads dropping on one side and tails getting raised on the other, Whilst I anticipate Ba getting at their centre halves with Shola playing a part I also take a look at Anita's form plus Van Persie and Rooney licking their smug lips thinking of Williamson and Perch at centre half for us. So big win for for the first scorers whomever it shall be.

Maybe Pards 'knew' Ma Gosling in the past?

Bigi's barber shop, 'Desmonds' getting a canny plug, there.

Isn't Ben Arfa banned?

Don't remember that Elvis song, RR.

A little less conversation, a little more action.

SMB doesn't say who provided the free tickets. If their police union paid it then it wasn't free. If it was the various rail companies then that's between them and their shareholders and customers. If the govt paid it in these days of cuts then I'd question it.

It's a valid question. Don't understand the response.

Ghuras of Shields Road for the new sponsor. You heard it here first.

He started in the SAS, didn't even have to do his time in a regular regiment first so much promise did he show in the cadets. After 3 years he moved from the SAS to SCS, then to FFS and finished up in DHSS where he learned to despise the 'workhy' cunts who gave him a bad name. From time to time 'M' gets in touch for a special hush-hush mission in Did-ye-get-me-hash-stan. His codename is 'Uncle's little helper'.

I knew someone who had their wedding on the day of our cup final v Arsenal. (They picked the day as it was 'after the season finished') No I didn't go. All the best to HF, my wedding day was great, nervous etc but it really was a special day and I'm sure yours will be to. (Unfortunately it goes downhill after that but that's your tough titties, mate, for going along with it.)

It's a tacky looking white sign above the glass facade looking over Barrack Road. So they crowbarred the smart looking name of our stadium from the brick wall and replaced it with a big bedsheet with the legend 'Sports Direct Arena'. Classy as fuck. I feel a bit ropey anyway so the Missus has got a few big bags of malteesers, pastilles etc* and I'm going to get espn put on so she can listen to her teacher's thick sounding ex-footballer brother. *For the bairns!!

Cheeky twat. Due to turning up at SJP to see a big white sheet stuck onto the Milburn stand with sports direct arena, then being told I have to pay a quid a ticket just to be able to err, pay for a ticket I told them, (politely), to go fuck themselves. Ashley out etc.

God bless Katy.

Taking my daughters for the first time tonight. Eldest, (10), doesn't really like football but is just going for something to do and will no doubt spend most of the time looking at her phone and will have no idea of the proper words to songs so she'll fit right in with the ultras then. The youngest, (7), really likes football/NUFC and is really excited for it. I'll be disappointed if they don't play in black & white for my bairns debut tonight. For the record, my 'debut' was a 1-0 defeat to Shrewsbury in the 2nd division but after experiencing the terraces I was hooked.

Aye, lets hope 'bravado Dave' doesn't turn into 'premature Dave' or 'this doesn't normally happen to me Dave'. Keep us posted, Fish.

Aye, lets hope 'bravado Dave' doesn't turn into 'premature Dave' or 'this doesn't normally happen to me Dave'. Keep us posted, Fish.

Used to have a song sung about me, as did we all, whenever I scored a goal in the junior school yard on a dinner time. It was the 'nice one cyrill' song but changed to my name. Come to think of it, we'd sing loads of football songs in the days leading up to a clash with a school rival only swapping the 'newcastle' or 'geordie' bits for wor school name. (needless to say such fervour swept us to the title with yours truly captaining the team following in the footsteps of the likes of Steve 'Bagpuss' Bruce).

Breaking news on SSN;

I fear the above but even I don't think he'd cut off a years sponsorship early to do this.

That's what I was thinking too.

34,000 for a local derby, atmosphere flat as a fart, (and this for a four o'clock kick off with extra drink time to get you in the mood). Yes folks we're talking villa. Martin Tyler hyping up the game saying now Lambert's there the Holte end are now the 12th man again as the sky camera pans onto a Holte end full of dull, bored looking beige people sitting on their hands with blank expressions across their dials. "typical midlands derby" said sewpa kev. Spot on, rat boy, spot on.