Howmanheyman

For an few quid extra in his pay/sign on fee we might have had a proven scorer tied down with only a big fee standing in the way of losing him. Pay peanuts and deal with the consequences.

Pardew: "I'd like to wish Demba orw the best at Chewsea and thank Mike for going aht there and getting Demba in the fiwrst place, trust me, there weren't many peepowh out there prepared to pay West 'Ahm naffink and bung Demba and his agent a few quid with a silly fahkin' clause but Mike did and I fink it needs put on record. Orw the money Mike gets at Noocarsuw goes straight back in the club, only the atha day one of the cleaners fownd a 10p piece next to the radiator in my room which was turned off as it was a pretty warm day for a january, anyway, she gave that coin to Mike and let me tell you, that 10p went straight into the leccy bill tin."

Pardew: "We have a meeting and we will be discussing options in front of us. I don't think our policy will change too much. Money is tight here in terms of how we spend it. 'We try to get the best possible deal for the club but we do take into account where we are." Don't we fucking know it!!!

He was ok and fair to be honest, far more pro-NUFC than that cunt Niall Quinn who has his sly digs hidden in his Oirish charming man brogue. It takes some doing not to have any representation at all in a game you're featured in so kudos to SKY for achieving it once more.

It's a concern. Instead of 'wiping our own nose' we may be struggling to wipe our arses in April/May as the sphincters twitch like a Bunny Rabbits nose.

Was thinking of that 'voice' thread but I'll spare you all my dulcet tones.

We used to play this really corny instrumental at half time when I was a kid but I've no idea what it was called. That 'soundhound' was as much use as a windscreen wiper on a submarine when I tried find it out. Only time I've ever heard it since was at 'Uncle Freddies' partys before he retired.

Phew! While we're talking about monkeys*, did anyone see Peyter Reid last night? Fuck me he looks more like a chimpanzee than ever. Is he on a diet of bananas and PG tips? * JOKE!!! ;)

Unless your signing for a Man U or the likes then relegation clauses would perhaps seem sensible but as a club we took a chance on Ba and in a way it's come off if you look at it financially but now they need another rabbit out the hat. You can't keep doing it.

Glad you put 'bit' by the way. It's a part of his looks which not everyone of his race has. If I'm wrong and 'racist' I'll go and sit on the naughty step for a bit.

Sorry Craig but as much as Redknapp was completely out of order, the club agreed to the clause, nobody else. Just seen footage of Demba sitting in the stand at Stamford Bridge, by the way. Considering he's getting his dream move his bottom lip was fucking tripping him.

In a nutshell.

Coloccini seemed to get drawn out to our right hand side a few times. Let's hope he doesn't have the need to soon.

I'd say Santon is lacking a decent partner in front of him who compliments him and can work with him. Little partnerships like this can be crucial in a side but our team is all over the fucking shop for reasons we're all familiar with. However, Santon, as good as he can be going forward can also be a little erratic at the back. I'll think he'll be ok with better support around him. Over to you Mike.

Here's the list my spies have obtained for me. 1. Loic Remy (If they accept our fee/player accepts our terms, all non-negotiable) 2. Antoine Sibierski 3. Shefki Kuqi

Pardew: "I'd like to wish Demba awwh the best at Chewsea and thank Mike for going aht there and getting Demba in the fiwrst place, trust me, there weren't many peepowh out there prepared to give West 'Ahm nuffink and bung Demba and his agent a few quid with a silly fahkin' clause but Mike did and I fink it needs put on record."

No I'm just stating that the club did this on the cheap and have now got themselves in a position where they have to get a replacement in. Do other 'big' clubs do business like this?

We got Ba PRECISELY because he had one of the clauses we seem to be keen on. We never paid West Ham a penny. Iirc his agents and Demba scored for £2.5M. We got him for 18 months, he did the business now we get £5M but lose his goals and cross our fingers that Cisse or his replacement can replace them. Course Demba held the cards when we pinched him so that's why we gave in to the clause. People should get used to this kind of shit with our owner, I can't understand anyone not thinking the club are a penny pinching shambles to be honest.

He'll not be getting paid today then if he said 'fuck off I might get injured"?

I prefer mine but it's up to you. Andrew needs 'Bamber Gascoigne' for a week while we're at it.

CT needs to be renamed 'Jackie Shiter' by the way. Get to it Admins/Mods.

No wind up, probably just a dream.

All the best, LTB! Is it Mackem folksingers nephew? "Ahll tak them dishcloth hondacrackas doon"

Not so 'Bashful', on his day off from 'Snow White and the seven Dwarfs' at a pantomime near you.