Howmanheyman

".......and it's over to Jamie Redknapp to see if it's over the line after the break......and it's live!"

I'm guessing Louise Taylor didn't write that piece, then?

Had an hour and am not going to lie to you. I'm fucking knackered.

It didn't do poor wee Shane any favours, just gave him a headache and a sore arse.

O Christmas Tree! O Christmas Tree! Thy views are always changing O Christmas Tree! O Christmas Tree! Thy expert on old Eastleigh!

Jammy sod.

Joe Harvey: Ex-Army sergeant, Joe managed us to the 2nd Division title in the mid sixties before being the last manager to win a trophy in 1969, (and a European one at that), he captained us to two cup victories at Wembley in the fifties and also helped us get promotion in the late forties in front of the biggest crowd in the country as a player. Up to his death in 1989 he remained a Newcastle Utd man and was a scout for the club. Absolutely scandalous that there isn't more made of this man at NUFC. Kevin Keegan: When I was just getting the hang of this football lark I remember asking my Dad why we weren't in the first list of results that Grandstand would show at quarter to five on a saturday. I was told it was because we weren't in the top division and we had to wait our turn to be shown as we were in the next one down. As a kid I just thought we mustn't be that important. Then Keegan came along and he might as well had a blinding white light behind him! The England Captain came to us! We then became a club again and the fans flocked back as they believed again. The year after we got promoted of course finishing in 3rd place in front of the third biggest crowd in the UK, (just behind treble winning Liverpool and Man U). He then left in a chopper, (helicoptor, not the bike), and that was it. Great while it lasted. Until he appeared out of the blue to save us from the very real prospect of 3rd division football which would have been the lowest ever position of this old club of ours and could have put us out of business according to John Hall. We were down and out after Derby did us 4-1 at the Baseball when an absolute twat from Grimsby IIRC, called Coddington sent off three of our players and sent Terry Mac to the stands, our support that day was as good as it got in the face of adversity, loud, defiant and proud. Against Pompey at home we just had to win in the 2nd last game of the season as the last game was at Filbert Street where Leicester would probably beat us as it was A; away and B; against a promotion chasing side. In a tight game v Pompey we just couldn't break them down and it wasn't looking good until David Kelly hit a Quinny put down sweet as a fucking nut on the half volley and the relief mixed with the joy made it probably the most mental a goal has celebrated that I can remember. Anyway, we somehow beat Leicester in a game I couldn't get to and KK said this couldn't be allowed to happen again at this club. He made you believe it, he knew what this club of ours was worth, he knew what it could achieve and he did it in style the next year playing a football game which I'd never seen a Newcastle side play before. We got the title, got promoted but Keegan wanted more for this club and discarded Kelly, got Beardsley in and got us 3rd in the PL straight after promotion. We were a joy and the PL were privileged to have us there. regular beastings of teams, 7-1 scorelines three times and morale was at an all time high, you didn't just take life in your stride back then, you nutmegged it as well. If only we had of got that title win. The man gave us the best times I've ever known as a Mag and I love him for it. Jackie Milburn: Jackie's statue has been moved a few times and I've genuinely lost track of where it is! As far as I can tell, it's still outside St. James' boulevard where the old Tyne Brewery Keg racker used to be. It's about time it went outside the ground again as Jackie epitomised what our club and area was about, unassuming Milburn was an apprentice fitter at the Ashington colliery before getting a trial at the toon, he was switched from a winger in one of his early trial games to a centre forward, got six goals and never looked back. Jackie was our all time top scorer until Shearer, played in all three of our cup winning finals of the fifties scoring in two of those games and like Harvey, always remained attached to our club ready to give advice if asked and apparently mentored SuperMac when he first signed taking him outside the shipyards and showing Mac who he was playing for. A top man and gentleman by all accounts.

Tired dimwt. Get it right.

Was there a bright star shining down on The Findus stand in the early hours of your birth, then, Clee?

(Obviously an admin can move this to the football section if they'd like).

(As I'm suffering from insomnia and bored) Imagine you get this phone call from the club; "Awight Geordie? It's Dewick Lame-arse ere, You've been wandomly selected by Noocarsull United FC to pick free (3) statues to go outside each cornah of St. James' Park, (name courtesy of yer old 'Wonga'), As you know we've alweady got old man Sir Bobby dahn by the Milburn/Gallowgate cornah, we'd like you to nominate free (3) other ex-Noocarsull legends to go in the west of the cornahs of the stadium. So let me know your choices and why you fink we should choose your choices. Cheers." So, who do you pick and why?

Aye, been twice around the Blundell Park area and a few miles around it. Was a complete hole, rough as fuck as well and saw trouble the first time as well. Always sticks in my mind although the last time I was there was in 1993 to be fair.

Not really odd........I've been there*. *Grimsby/Cleethorpes

Watched 'Last of the Mohicans' for the first time in years. I'd forgotten just how beautiful Madeleine Stowe is and realised Cheryl Cole is a ringer for her.

Just as well for his family's sake he never signed for Grimsby or Middlesbrough.

Just heard EMF - Unbelievable in the car. Jesus, I couldn't (and still can't) abide it. Awful, just awful.

Ooooooh, naughty Ant.

Congrats to all around when this was posted for resisting the urge to reply in an innuendo laced manner. I'd have struggled not to, Monkey's Fist was obviously not around either.

He killed Bambi then put a sportsdirect sign on it's corpse. The cunt.

Knows the price of everything and the value of nothing. HAS THAT ANSWERED YOUR FUCKING QUESTION, WOR KID??!!!

So.......Anyone doing anything interesting today or...........?

Such a shame Father Ted is no longer around for the gig.

Alright, man! No need to make a song and dance about it, for fuck sake.

Sorry to hear that, Tom.