Howmanheyman

SEX INSURANCE Do you have any?? If not then please find a list below catering for most tastes: Sex with your wife; Legal and General. . . Sex with your partner; Standard Life. . . Sex with someone different; Go Compare. . . Sex on the phone; Direct Line. . Sex with a fat bird; More Than. . Sex with a hot bird; Privileged. . Sex on the back seat; Sheila's Wheels. . Sex with a transvestite; Confused.com. . Sex with an animal; Compare the Meerkat. .

You can almost see it too if you look carefully enough.

Overheard a local journalist yesterday who may, or may not, have made a complete tit of himself on Talksport a while back assure one of his sources on his mobile that "....If you keep feeding me this kinda stuff I'll make sure it gets in the paper." in a loud voice in ASDA with a serious look on his face. (It was was probably Margaret from the NUFC canteen complaining about where the hell was she was going to source the Frogs legs for next fridays 'French day' menu?)

Didn't realise he had a tasty daughter. If she needs a hand looking I'm available all day thursday.

Damned by the King of cool! It must be over 13 years since I bought a NUFC shirt, I bought a retro shirt last year, (I love it even though I've only worn it about 3-4 times max). BUT!! Newcastle United supporter showing an interest in the new shirt? What the fuck is the matter with me?

I can confirm this. Ben Arfa's Clothes hook is wonky and needs screwed in properly and Cabaye doesn't like sitting next to the door as it's drafty. Tim Krul wants a space away from Rob Elliot as he's a bit too 'clingy' and starstruck and keeps asking Tim if he'll go to Nando's in the Metrocetntre as it's 'really fab'.

Luke Edwards is a small balding kid with blonde hair and a London/South-East accent. Alan Oliver and Brian Mcnally are Mackems despite the latters 'Celtic' fan patter.

It looks shit. No surprise there then. How hard is it to do a decent black & white striped shirt?

Big Ron likes this.

I bet there was fucking hell on in Andrew's house when his Mam once gave him beans on toast using ASDA beans not Heinz and ASDA orange juice rather than Sunny D.

He's just your average all -American Durham, clean-living, volvic-drinking NHS guy, J69.

LM faces up to another days exile from Toontastic.

Gemmill and Cath from the piss up thread.

Gene learns Percy Main got beat in their Pin Point Recruitment Northern Alliance game.

Brock Brock in his garden watering the plants.

Well I was at the same match anyway, I think. That really is disturbing, Chez.

ChezGiven. (Probably looks fuck all like him but that's how I imagine him).

Paddocklad (relaxing back home after another grueling Euro away trip).

Stevie Derek Accorah

LBT Aeris

Boris Johnson Gemmill

Captain Mainwaring CT

The players need a hefty kick up the arse as much as Pardew does if you ask me. You hear the word passion which is all and good but you also need sound common sense. It doesn't need someone standing on a touchline to tell you there's a bloke running free from you into space.