Howmanheyman

"Oh for fuck sake, do keep up, you're missing the whole point of the superhero genre let alone the dark and quirky machinations of the directors cut of the Batman series."

I wish KSA's 'Bravado Dave' impression was still around as indeed KSA himself!

Walking back from a school disco with my 8 year old daughter; Me: "Who's that you've just waved to?" Nicole: "Nicole such and such." Me: "Is she in your class or the next one?" Nicole: "Mine." Me: "I don't recognise her or her Mam." Nicole: "What's your name?" Me: "David." Nicole: "What's this? (pointing to her nose)." Me: "A nose." Nicole: "What's in your hands?" I turn my hands over. Me: "Nothing." Nicole: "David knows nothing." Cheeky little git!

Wife this morning while I'm enjoying the sun in the back on my day off; Wife: "We need to take some stuff back to Asda then Silverlink" Me: "(sigh) Alright then." We finish taking some kids stuff back to asda then.... Wife: "That bag there is for Matalan." (in Killingworth). Me: "You never said Matalan." Wife: "Well it needs to go back today." Me: "(sigh) Alright then." We then pull up to River Island in the Silverlink, I grab two bags out the boot....... Wife: "No! Just the red bag!" Me: "What?" Wife: "The black bag is to go back to 'New look'" Me: Wife: "What's wrong......blah, blah......(twenty minutes later).........blah blah......." Me: "Honestly, I don't mind going to these shops and dropping them all off, it's nee bother."

Not 'Bravado' anymore?

I don't know why everybody is so worried, after all we've got a billionaire owner and at least £60M extra coming our way in television revenue. I'm sure Joe and Mike will see us alright.

Couldn't you have just run it off you big puff? Call yersel a Geordie? Great news, Mac!

"His FA Cup and League cup record with us is atrocious." might have been an even better way to put it.

"Hi, Mike, err, Boss, err sir, Lol! (OMG!!! i'm talking to Mike Ashley!!) This is Lisa from Sportsdirect News, our readers would really, really like to know what is, like, going to happen with, you know, Papiss Cisse and stuff, you know?"

Whatever the famous person said.

"His FA Cup and League cup record is atrocious." might have been a better way to put it.

I tell you what, If it's someone famous who's saying it then that's me convinced.

He's shit in the cups. Trust me.

I don't know the sex, weight etc that the new royal baby will be but I do know that it'll be born with a silver spoon hanging out of it's mouth rather than a greggs sausage roll.

Is he not a bit young for chardonnay? I'd start him off with alcopops first, Cat.

67.4% (Meenzer completely exaggerates the numbers).

It depends what my potential students are willing to pay!

Ran past the training ground today and could see and hear our Silver foxed General shouting out instructions although I couldn't make out what he said as I was a bit too far away and I couldn't stop running otherwise Id never start again. I could be wrong but I'm sure Pards was saying, "Mousse! Mousse! Hit it dahn the channel and run my old sahn!"

Bringing 'co-commentators' into televised football definitely spoiled things.

Why does it amaze you given the fact that at least half the squad were a bunch of posing, preening media whore fannies who believed their own hype?

I was hoping it was a bona fide taxi driver.

Hang on a minute, just for clarification, here, Tooj, are you trying to say old firm fans exaggerate and tell out and out complete whoppers on a regular basis?

Aye I liked that already.