Howmanheyman

carried a bit more beef then, just had a pizza and a couple of cans and feel the weight creeping on me already.

haha. Never had to put up with that shit, mate! Third time here and happy to report that the bog roll flushes, repeat, the bog roll flushes.

I'm in a canny mood, 18 days away from shitty work and shitty nightshift. 14 of those kicking back by our own Villa in Cyprus by the pool. Thank furk for that as they say in Bedlington.

Did the Triads get a hold of you that time, mate? (the time you hid behind the settee?)

Only when I want a window fitted.

!st one says, 'Do you have a room with a bath?' 2nd one says, 'Can you tell me the way to the nearest beach?'

Half my neighbours are called 'Geoff'.

If you ever wanted evidence of a typical Southern Tory twat then this bloke is it. Doesn't want his nice people in their nice areas to suffer fracking, wants them up there in their grimy hovels to put up with it instead despite there being no decent transport links and above all nothing to err, 'frack' up here as well having no problem ruining our beautiful countryside. We shouldn't laugh too much, these cunts have the power to do the Souths bidding.

'Sign one soon' you fucking halfwits! Shall I put it in hashtags to make it easier for you all?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kmopSVOMSsU Heard this the other day and I loved it as a kid and haven't heard it for years. Trouble is, now I can't get the song out of my head.

Seeing as I've seen quite a few desolate areas in the South I'd say they can quite easily spread the joy of fracking nationwide, unless of course, the real reason is the North East has no political interest for these cunts.

It's bullet point-esque. Makes points look better. Like a bullet. Through your brain! Inside, outside he's living la vida loca.

11 stone. In two weeks time I'll be about 11 stone 8 I'd guess.

I've heard it plays 'don't go' by Yazoo which is bound to be giving conflicting messages to your average Gheorge newly arrived from Bucharest to be honest.

Owen was probably like one of these couples you see on a 'place in the sun' who want to live abroad in a typical French/Spanish home until the lass shows them a typical French/Spanish home and they invariably turn their noses up at it.

And I haven't even mentioned kerb crawling!

To be fair, Pleat should never be taken seriously as he has a voice that would give an aspirin a sore heed and Owen has the type of patter that would make an onion cry.

Pleat's just trying to put a Spurs-friendly slant on it and Owen was probably too picky and out of touch with the reality of living in another country. They're still bell ends of course.

Twitter reckons we're on the verge of signing three young South Korean wonderkids, Nee Wun Noo, Sin Wun Sun and Bi Nee Kun.

This in the Express about what JFK thought Mick Harford would bring to NUFC. "Ex-Toon striker Harford has earned himself a new contract at Millwall, where he will work alongside manager Steve Lomas after rejecting Kinnear’s offer. It seems that Harford’s job would have involved ferrying non-driver Kinnear around the country on scouting missions – something that didn’t really appeal!"

I've no idea who said it? Hang on a minute, mate, my phones ringing.................. ........That was Beamish on the blower, they want to know if they can have the contents of your wardrobe?

Pards getting tough with Ashley about getting some players 'over the line'. "Please, Mike, can we have some more?"

You off to a Madness or Specials concert, Rob?

A brand new bathroom plus an en-suite built in between two big bedrooms. Ended up paying a lot more than I was expecting which was a kick in the balls and I had to borrow some money out of my Dad's pension lumpa just so we've got enough spending money for our hols on Wednesday. Am fucking wounded, mind.