Howmanheyman

Trust me, it's the other way around. You NEVER want to have a Greggs sausage roll.

Is that Pontayland crown court they'll be getting sentenced at or have they given it another daft name?

A bit like that time I saw PL at Cardiff, honestly he could barely speak he was that far gone. (Obviously didn't bother me at the time, we've all been there at one time or another).

I'm a big chess fan too. (Sorry, chest).

I bumped into a mate in Wallsend whilst dropping off some bait for the bairn that she'd forgot. Surrounded by people and wearing his North Tyneside council gear he loudly says 'why aren't you at work?' laughing as he was going into Savers. I replied that officially, only one of us was meant to be at work at the minute and it wasn't me. (Nobody laughed or applauded as the chances of most the folk walking around Wallsend high street during the week understanding the irony are slim to none).

Reminds me of the joke about the mild mannered accountant who gets sent down for fraud. First day in the cell with his new cellmate and he's shitting it and expecting the worst. After half an hour of his cellmate glaring at him it looks like his worst fears are going to come true. The psychopathic looking cellmate says, 'do you want to play a game?' The accountant says "if you want?" The Psycho then growls 'good. Let's play mammies and daddies.' the accountant then braces for the worst before psycho says 'I'll be the mammy, you can be the daddy.' the accountant then lets a small sigh of relief thinking that this might not be quite as bad as he first expected before the psycho says, 'now come over here, daddy and suck mammies cock.'

Quite a a few them have lost their minds tbh.

What's the point? They're well gone down the celebrity fan route already. I wouldn't waste my time.

The replies on this by the way, calls to bring him over for the match by fans on twitter whilst Tom, Dick and Harry, match goers for decades can't get tickets.

It was a trap. Look at that Saudi cunt at Brighton, even ended up in with the directors, turned out he was a Man U fan a year previously but had tea with Wraith and co with them wearing all the Saudi paraphernalia iirc?

"I hired Leanne to remove my piano but as she arrived I was in the middle of playing 'ebony and ivory' on it with my friend who looked like Stevie Wonder. I got the dirtiest look from her. Don't recommend. 1/5 stars."

On the plus side he was wearing a pink carnation as well so it was like silk and steel before he was drugged.

If you're a social media 'star', especially a foreign one, some at the club or some of our other fans will suck you dry in an instant.

I'm imagining this is what Juninho is telling Albert here.

Dick Emery looking good for his age, tbf.

HMHM likes this. ✅

Woah! Hang on a minute, are you calling these middle class fans cunts? Can we all just agree to disagree here guys and I'll get the Starbucks in, yeah?

A likable lad now slightly less likable. Sad.

I'm not German but.....MEIN GOTT!!!

Really sad to hear this, me and my mate spent a couple of hours cracking on with him and his mate a few years ago in the monkey bar and he was superb crack. I think he got a bit worried when I said my Mam knew him before he came over to Newcastle before I just mentioned they both worked in the same printers. Fantastic tales and when he mentioned who played with and against it seemed a bit surreal. RIP, Tommy.

"You're still thinking about the bad stats, aren't you?"

Not in my twitterverse.

That's the spirit!

A new shame has arrived.