Howmanheyman

Sunderland Amateur Football Club

It's southern journalists and fans doing it that boils my piss. Obviously mancs will do it and they'd be weird not to, some cockney wanker doing it is a different matter.

Away win.

Commentators joyous voice when man u win it...

[Last week] "Do you fancy doing Everton v Forest, Gary?" "You are joking, aren't you?" [Today] "....and it's over to our match day commentators at Goodison Park, Bill Leslie and Andy Hinchcliffe."

"I'm truly sorry father, I have no more tears to weep."

A few of those are still in use, especially bait, I don't know anyone who doesn't use it?

"Why don't we have threads dissing U12 girls teams winning the league against boys, Reg?" "Because why would we? We're a football board having a laugh, taking the piss, talking about football. Leave it to RTG for that shite " "Don't oppress me! It's my right as a man to discuss U12 girls teams!" "I'm not oppressing you, but you're not an MLF?" "I want to be one." "What?!" "I want to be an MLF and talk shite about U12 girls teams." "But why? You're a Mag on a NUFC forum, we don't do that shite?" "Why don't we agree that CT, as a man from boldon, has the right to talk shite about U12 girls especially as he's dangerously close to Sunderland even though he's a Mag on a NUFC forum." "But what's the point?" "I want to invest in crypto currency as well!"

I've heard it through the years, usually not by mackems. Usually by people who were older than me. I doubt my kids will ever hear anyone saying it by the time they're my age.

Rents imagination as he's about to go out for a drive in his new, top of the range car..... "Stick it in my arse, rents babe, I love your new, top of the range car and it's making me horny for you."

Arafat.

Marrowfat 🤝 Marra fat

Who knows? You'd have to start early to allow for the travel time from the town to the hovel.

Feel really sorry for the Millwall fans today going to Sunderland with all the hard bastard MLFs waiting to dish out a few haymakers and windmilling them all over the shop.

It's an old NE word not exclusively mackem, it's a bit like the pretendy howay = Geordie, haway= Mackem thing. Yes it gets used for mackems now but your mate's right.

I can't bear listening to him and his co-commentators on TNT but he's to be applauded for that little speech.

Thinking of applying to labour for a job if that's the competition?

We also had similar grief with the DWP and pip. Absolute lying, (proven lying) cunts who couldn't even be arsed to show up when it eventually went to an independent tribunal just the six very stressful months later.

An southern Englishman is living in Ireland and whenever he hears about 'the little people' and other such tales he politely smiles but grimaces a bit inside. One day he sees an advert in his local paper offering a talking dog for sale, price €20 to a good home. The Englishman shakes his head then sees the address is just around the corner. Smiling to himself he thinks he'll pop along as he's not busy and call the seller's bluff. He knocks on the door and asks if this is the right address for the talking dog. Irishman: "Yes it certainly is, sir, he's in the backyard." The Irishman takes him to a pokey backyard with a small kennel and a bored looking dog just lying there. The Englishman smiles and addresses the dog.... Englishman: "So you must be the talking dog I've heard about?" Straight away the dog looks up and says, "Aye, that's me, mate.' Flabbergasted the man looks around for trick microphones but doesn't see any. The Irishman says he'll leave him for ten minutes so he can chat privately with the dog. Englishman: "How the hell did you learn to talk?" The dog replies, "Well, I've no idea really, I must've just picked it up as a pup listening to my owners. Englishman: "What did your owners think?" Dog: "Well they were a bit unsure what to do so took me to the Garda for their opinion. The Garda offered to take me off their hands and look after and train me so I ended up working at Dublin airport, eavesdropping on potential terrorists and drug smugglers and letting the garda know." Englishman: "That's amazing!" Dog: "One day my handler said that the CIA had heard about me and paid the Garda four million dollars for my services so I ended up in the whitehouse and Camp David just moping around like a regular dog but eavesdropping on any foreign diplomats like the Russians. Obviously they taught me the language so I spoke fluent russian as well as English. They'd let their guard down and chat about their plans and intentions and I'd tell my CIA handler at a daily debrief." Englishman: "Wow, that's amazing!" Dog: "It was a pretty good life I have to say, they bought me an amazing condo kennel with a little pool outside, I ended up hooking up with a showbusiness dog who was playing lassie and I had the best grub you could eat." Englishman: "So what are you doing here?" Dog: "Ah, you know how it is, I got a bit bored and homesick so after a couple of years of good service they arranged for me to come back home. The man who lives here picked me up at the Dublin cat and dog shelter." At that moment the man came back in the yard and the Englishman can't help himself.. Englishman: "Good god, man! Why on earth are you selling a dog like this for only €20?!" The Irishman replies, "Sure he's a lying cunt, he never did any of that shit."

KRYP "Steve, calm down son, calm down. If you need some patter for an introduction video ah'll do it for you, consider it a favour for all those 'raring to go/do it for the fans/bleed black and white/aah hate sunlin, me like' pieces we did together back in the day. Divvent fret though, aa'll not mention you getting sparked by Andy Carroll. Lol."

Scary spice hasn't aged well....

They'll serve EVERYTHING.

"Get the architect to set up an anonymous twitter account and put a slightly cartoon version of the planned new Tyne stadium to slowly acclimatise everyone for it. Tell him not to include anything to do with the super ocean liner next to it which will be a bar as a nod to the tuxedo princess as we want that to be a surprise." (You heard it here first!!)

Sorry to hear about your loss. 😔

Fletch and Mcmanaman. It just doesn't get any better than that. (The Madrid and Manchester players are decent as well).