Howmanheyman

Captain James T Kirk frantically trying to find the Lizards fanny with his right hand.

Happy birthday Beans-Meenz-Heinz!

£1200 two summers ago from British Airways.

Gone Fishing...........Caught a tiddler.

Thanks a lot, Tom and SLP! I opened this thread up expecting to see the wee Tim telling us how great and globally MASSIVE Celtic were and how their players are all the sons of Pele and what do I get? Fraser fucking Forster patter?

He, like Tiote, has a tendency to turn into trouble and risk losing the ball when a pass is sometimes the best option.

"What should I use for the washing machine?" "Oooooh! The internet says use bleach!" "CT!!!!! Get back here, now, you useless waste of space!!! What have you done to our washing machine!!!!??????"

Was out with the Wife supposedly Christmas shopping and we ended up in Frankie and Bennys for something to eat even though I didn't really fancy it. Anyway, got stuck next to this old-ish Chinese bloke and his son. Fuck me, in the 45 minutes or whatever it was this annoying twat talked in a loudish voice non-fucking-stop all about a mobile phone and how you could do whatever with it and different contacts, data etc. Boring, fucking boring bastard! How can you spend that amount of time talking about a mobile phone with your son? (At least the son wasn't as loud).The son was sitting with his mobile phone out, the Father was sitting with some kind of ipad lying on the table, what the fucks the matter with these cunts? SHUT THE FUCK UP, YOU BORING BASTAAAAARRRRDSSS!!!!!! We'd been into one of the mobile phone shops earlier on as the Missus wanted to find out something about a phone contract for our daughter and I'd walked out as I can't stand hanging about waiting for a badly dressed geek to serve us and my Wife reckoned this was karma getting it's own back.

I sometimes think other players use him as a 'get out of jail' card as well by giving him the ball and standing back to let him do something himself, although to be fair, if they do make runs into space they don't always get the pass when they should so basically, err, where was I?

Does he shout 'Run, Forrest, run!' when Obertan has the ball and then shout 'Run, Forrest, run but take the ball with you this time!' the second time he gets the ball?

I never seen her as they split up not long afterwards and she lived with her mam. See her once in blue moon though and helped her out getting a job so I did something.

The twenty something year old males over there not up to the job?

I must be a (rhymes with punt) then, I'm a Godfather and have never bought a birthday/Christmas present for my Goddaughter.

Sorry, Tooj, I'm no apologist for Pardew but to say he sold those players?

I thought it was the ex-Everton and Oldham boss.

Never heard of him.

Am also going to stick my neck on the line and say I've never once heard an arsehole, guy or a lad say 'booooom' when something good has happened.

The term 'guy' instead of 'man', 'bloke' or the easy on the ear 'Lad'.

I'd turn that around and say it's also a test of some of his players whose attitude can veer from committed to blase match to match depending on the opposition.

Tyneside paper calling a Mother 'mum' instead of 'Mam' as well.

Ebay. Home brew kit for sale. Will deliver by taxi for local buyers.

I used this for the home draw with spurs but didn't have us to lose so didn't have the guarantee of winning money. Spent the winnings on a bet that we'd draw at old trafford which we did. Ended up with £180 from a newsnow link.

Hope the older Sunderland fans cringe when they hear 'the Sunderland boot boys'. Fuck me.

Niall Quinn does my head in.

That's what Obertan said to their lass last time she wanted him to take some stuff into the loft.