Howmanheyman

Username: Christmas Tree Password: Wham84waist32

Barnsley. When I say 'a few' probably about twenty that I saw. I think they went to a few that year.

I played in a Benfield v Heaton Manor 'derby' after there'd been a lot of fighting between Byker and Walker in the late eighties after two Heaton kids died. We got on the mini coach to go to the 'away' game which was to be played at a mystery neutral ground which only the two managers knew about so no fans could be there. The mystery 'neutral' venue turned out to be their ground and their lot had been tipped off about it. Wasn't the most comfortable walk I've ever made from bus to changing rooms and vice versa.

So it wont be the biggest derby in Britain should you play them again? Thanks for clearing that up.

I also remember standing next to a fair few Scottish blokes who travelled down to watch it, think they were Hearts fans.

You'll not be bothered when you play them then.

I'm eleven stone, two pounds, (weighed myself this morning), Am five foot nine or ten and I wear 32" jeans, am struggling to see how you'd fit into that size CT, must be tight as fuck, mate!

Never ever, ever call CT again.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-kgV3tDOo2o&feature=c4-overview&list=UUSmnYSUTz1Dyu9DsBGoeGDQ That Sparko1978 comes up with some belters, mind! Was at this one as well, most notable thing was a little twat we used to go with who was a good laugh chucking two pence coins about and constantly repeating the line 'Can't take banner t'match' in a South Yorkshire accent after a copper told another Mag the same thing. That and the sight pre-game of a Barnsley employee pushing a load of pies across the away terrace towards a hut in a rusty old falling to bits wheel barrow. I gave the pies a miss that day. About three to four thousand went to this game I reckon.

"In this bog Do not linger, Use the bogroll Not your finger." "Shakespeare came here to sit and think, I came here to shit and stink." Toilet wall, Old Work, Back Heaton Park Road, circa 1992.

A mate of mine lost his testicles from a bit of shrapnel in the Falklands, he is also allergic to caffeine. He got a job with Newcastle City Council and had to declare his medical condition. When he was told he was successful and had landed the job he asked what time he started in a morning? "Everyone else starts at 9am prompt till 5pm but you can start at 11am instead" the Manager said. My mate asked why this was? "Because we stand around drinking coffee and scratching our balls for the first couple of hours every day and that'll be no good to you".

Nice to see the Wonga Representative, (I take it he's from wonga), suitably dressed up to present the prestigious Wonga.com Newcastle United Player of the Month award.

A magnificent personal achievement for Deboosh. Well done to him. He's chuffed to bits and I am too. http://www.nufc.co.uk/articles/20131121/debuchy-scoops-wonga-award_2281670_3544808?

Can you imagine you're Phillipe Albert? Everyone knows your name, you've just got in to your 3rd floor apartment after a long day selling your fruit and veg in a Brussels market, your lass is having a pop about something or other, you've been up since the crack of dawn and you're just in the middle of your tea then the doorbell rings! Who the fuck is it at this time?! You get up wearily to answer it and this is what greets you: "Hi I'm Adam Carroll-Smith from Portsmouth. Can I have a photo of you as you're not in my pannini football sticker album from 1996. I was going to google a picture of you but I'm such a zany attention seeking Bulls Clem that I decided to come here in person. Don't worry about your time and patience or indeed your picture, I'll just chuck it in the sea afterwards and claim it's cathartic or something. Cheers."

Our commercial income has been halved under Mike Ashley's reign.

Now we know what Deano spent that £50 on........

"Hello Sailor." Even Ian Beale's at it........

You could see how it would be a concern that an organisation other than NUFC were getting money through NUFC shirts when there's little trust that our owner gives a flying fuck about NUFC. He's already shown that as a high flying business tycoon he has somehow halved our profitability disregarding television money. Sportsdirect is doing canny, though.