Howmanheyman

"Oi! Charnley! Tell 'em to fack off. And Charns.......make the same offer for Cabella while yer at it."

Pardew's patter just stinks the place out. Thinks he's managing Burnley or Crystal Palace the fucking mug.

Think that Roma shirt looks pretty smart. It'll be spoiled with a sponsor on it.

Well done. Putting the pressure on CT though.

(What I imagine playing in your head about now).

Alright Jack? We've bought a skinny kid from Spanish 2nd division Tenerife. Haven't seen him play but he wears shit catchers pants. We'll be cushty don't worry.

Just did an hour and it was a piece of piss compared to anything I've ran in the last couple of months. All I did was lose a couple of pounds and freshen my running music up a bit. Strange.

Fokken do her leyyyk! /Gemmill's German speaking Geordie charvas.

The Wife had a seizure last year, bairn obviously gets it from her, up until last year we had know idea she had it, she's not had one since. The bairns weren't seizures, she just went blank/switched off for about five to ten seconds before snapping out of it before she went on medication. They reckon lack of sleep, feeling a bit under the weather and especially alcohol probably brought it on where the Wife was concerned. The bairn can handle her pop. This happened to an old workmate. He'd been attacked years ago and had damage done to his head, (I'm sure he'd had a metal plate put in) but was perfectly fine and had been for nearly twenty years. On holiday he collapsed just like you and was off work for weeks. Like you they hadn't a clue what caused it but I think just put it down to a seizure. As far as I know it never happened again and when they were dealing with my Missus they did say many people who do have a seizure will only happen the one time.

I thought Nike bought umbro out and then did away with them? Most clubs last year who were with umbro switched to another supplier, (mainly nike).

I wonder how many heads that went over? We used to use squashed ice cups as well.

Bit cruel that, MF. CT just happens to suffer from Bulimia Amnesia. He binge eats but forgets to throw it back up.

What about next years tea lady? Any ideas? As much as I've admired Kath Cassidy's efforts over the years we have to face facts, she's 85 years old! I know she can still knock up a lovely cuppa on her day but maybe we should bring in some new blood? I'll be writing a blog about this very soon so can you throw me some ideas and suggestions, please? My favouirite for the job is Shola with Stevie 'Tayls' Taylor as his assistant. Cheers.

I clear my throat and tap my glass regularly too but instead of talking I just point to the bar, usually to my best man as it happens.

This time next year, I'll be a millionaire. year older.

I've managed to find a new, smart bukta shirt and shorts. Great fit, material is spot on and is virtually the same as one of of our old kits. Just waiting on the old badge coming then I'll have a lovely retro kit (minus socks) for about a 1/4 of the cost of a shirt from the likes of score draw/Toffs. Double The Wolf of Walkerville feels an opportunity arising.

Pretty hard to spoil Arsenal's shirt but credit to puma they've pulled off another cheap looking effort.

My best man was at least as useless if not more so than me when it came to speeches, what was great was everyone helping and reassuring him and willing him on. It was great seeing everyone helping and wishing everyone involved well. Just a great day really despite my reservations. One of our Bridesmaids who was 13 just got married a couple of weeks ago and had her night time do at the same place we had ours which brought the memories back a bit.

Good for you! Anyway, did anyone ever watch 'The meaning of Life'? For some reason it comes to mind.

Hope you had a good day, Jill.

I can't remember much about the speech to be honest despite practicing in my head constantly whenever I had a moment to myself a few weeks beforehand. Like I said, it was a weight off once I'd stood up and said my bit. I felt a stone lighter.