Howmanheyman

Look at the clip of them, especially the middle four.

That was my first away game. Was almost 15 and had to tell a few porkies to get there.

Aye, they were paid for by selling Gazza, Goddard and an improved Neil Mcdonald. We finished 8th, sold on Gazza and co, bought these and finished 20th.

Well done! Hope it turns out ok.

The secret diary of Lee Ryder aged 44 and a half. 23/03/2015 What a day ah had today, diary. Ah got into the Thomson House nerve centre a bit late as the fucking Metees were running late again, (at least that's what ah telt everyone when ah got in as ah didn't think they'd be too sympathetic hearing aboot me marathon session ah had yesterday at the club). Anyway, there was cleaners ah'll ower the shop which was weird as they're usually well gone by the time ah get there. Ah asks Cams who was walking past what was going on? Was the Queen coming to visit or what? "Better than that , mate. Simon Fox is paying an unexpected visit that one of the advertising girls overheard on a shopping trip to London on the weekend. Everyone's flapping, Lee!" Wow! Simon Fox! The CEO of Trinity Mirror was trying to pay a sneaky visit, eh? Fucking magic! Why magic, diary? Well while the Thomson House highrark, heirck, err, chiefs were touching cloth about him coming the boy Ryder thinks in different ways to the rest of them and it was time to put my latest book, 'Networking - Your way to success' to the test. Ah hung about in the background as Foxy came in the building making small talk to all and sundry. You couldn't get moved near him as it was a plevara, pleferr, err, horde of arselickers surrounding him and they were getting to the same place as Gabby Obertan does when he starts one of his 40 yard runs.......absolutely fucking neewhere, that's where! Nah, Ah let's them get on with it, biding me time as ah stood by the work bogs waiting for the moment ah knew was coming. Me networking book said the netty was a great place to network, it was quiet, it was private and you could start networking while washing your hands, so Ryder was onto it quicker than SuperMac chasing after a Terry Hibbitt through-ball. Anyway, as sure as eggs are eggs and Carver is a Geordie, Foxy started to go a funny colour and mentioned he was off 'To the little boys room.' as he put it. Ah followed him in after twenty seconds but when ah got in the urinals were empty and ah could see the trap one door shutting! Foxy was having a shite! Ah thought ah cannit hang aboot washing me hands for ten minutes so ah went into trap two pretending to have a shite as ah waited for Foxy to curl one oot. Anyway ah'd barely sat doon when the great man called out to me, "Hi! you alright?" Fucking hell! He was talking already and ah hadn't even spoken to him yet and he hadn't even seen me! He must've seen me coming in but ah never realised! Obviously ah'd been pointed out to him by the editor or Gibbo and he was wanting a bit craic with one of his star talents. Anyways, ah answered back, "Aye, Simon, ah'm fucking canny, mate." There was a bit of a pause before he carried on talking. He said, "So what are you up to? Busy?" Ah thought to meself, 'What does he think ah'm up to?' but just answered, "Err, y'knaa, Simon, just having a shite like you, mate." Just then ah realised that there'd been no 'plop' noises, no fart noises or owt ike that so ah thought on me feet and made a few 'NNNnnnnnn, Nnnnnnnnnnn!' sounds as if ah was straining to get a rock oot me arse, just so's Foxy wouldn't get suspish, suspiceio, err, so he wouldn't think ah was pretending. Again the great man paused a bit and then said, "Darling, can I phone you back, there's a lunatic sitting in the next toilet trying to talk to me." Fucking hell! He was talking to their lass on his phone ah'll along!! Ah thought ah'd fucking blown it now, like, so ah quickly pulled up me strides and rushed oot of trap two, ah quickly turned the tap on, so Foxy could hear water running, quickly pushed the hot air button on the dryer and got the fuck out! Ah lost me networking chance through breaking Ryder's number one rule, 'Divvent listen to nee fucker, do it my way or nee way." It hadn't let me down so far unlike some fucking poncy book written by a speccy cockney fucking nerd, so ah laughed, shrugged me shoulders and thought that next time it'll be the Knight Ryder calling the shots! Lol. Laters!

This game was was part one of previously mentioned pal getting a home & away howking from some Grimsby fans, the return chinning coming outside where Gotham is now when Dobbin ended our 100% record.

The whole end behind the goal? All of it had seats above the terracing? Mad if true because I've been down there twice around this time and just can't remember it. I'm always arguing with my pal about what was where in grounds including SJP so I'll bow down to your memory as mine was addled with alcohol around then.

It was Cunnington who scored, I missed it as I was just getting in, but he did play for the Mackems the next season. Can't remember there being seats behind us, mind, but I've been wrong before. Think we were in a bar called 'The Submarine' before the game which was well named as it was a right fucking dive.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IRRD9y1mGGU Anyone else on here who was behind that goal when Sheedy scored? Not sure if this was the game where overcrowding outside and limited turnstiles lead to a crush where some gates were burst open and everyone just swarmed in? P.S. How the fuck was that second goal disallowed?

I'll let Lee Ryder give you the low down. http://www.chroniclelive.co.uk/sport/football/football-news/alan-pardews-newcastle-united-regrets-8894598? (Exclusively brought to you by Lee's Sky subscription).

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Liverpool score and commentator turns into Jimmy Savile.

Fucking class goal by what's a Mata.

The commentators only comparison of Gerrard getting sent off in his last game v man u is Zidane getting sent off in the World Cup final. Aye, that's EXACTLY what I was thinking too.

Oh dear, someone at sky is either desperate or is taking the piss out of poor old 'Pards'.

Not even Stupid Pearce?

http://www.chroniclelive.co.uk/sport/football/football-news/siem-de-jong-announces-back-8868481? The secret diary of Lee Ryder aged 44 and a half. 19/03/2015 Well diary, sometimes these so-called superstar footballers get a bit too big for their expensively sponsored boots, sometimes they get a bad press for being millionaire playboys who smoke cigars lighted by twenty pound notes. Sometimes. But today ah had the great pleasure of seeing Toon legends giving something back to the community when ah saw Coach Carvs, El Capo Colo and Jonas visiting some sick patients at the Royal Victoria Infirmary. Abouts ten bells this morning me phone rang and when ah picked it up it was me old mate, Cockeyed Mala on the other end. "How, Lee!" He said, "Guess who ah've just seen coming doon the ward?" Mala was a hospital porter in the RVI and ah first of all started to think that someone we knew must have been in a accident when he blurted out that the new head coach of the cathedral on the hill and his two Argie superstars were walking past him. Quicker than a Sir Bobby Robson anecdote from Coach Carver, ah was rund there like a shot. Ah followed the directions Mala gave iz and just hoped he hadn't got the 6 and 9 mixed up with his questionable vision and before long ended up on ward 69. Right enough there at the end of the ward was the three NUFC legends doing their bit to bring joy to ordinary punters who were in hospital and feeling very poorly. Ah'd already grabbed a Doctor's white coat and steffas, stephers, err, hearing thingy to put rund me neck as ah went past a cloak room and put me false glasses on and pretended to look at the patients details whilst secretly recording their encouraging craic to the poor cunt in the bed. Carvs started talking first, he gans, "Hey, chin up kidda Ah've brought Jonas and Colo to see you! Are you keeping well? You look really good!" Our coach politely lied to the poor looking wretch in the bed. The lad wanly smiled back but looked proper fucked, like. Jonas then piped up, "Hey, amigo, I beat thees cajones cancer, you can get better too! You must believe!" Again the skeletal patient smiled and slowly but painfully lifted his thump up to the Toon's super Spiderman hero. Next up our stupidly banned Argentinian Capitano decided to lead by example and said, "You get a bit better and you shall play with us on the saint Jaimies peetch." Ah'm a hard hearted reporter at times but ah nearly welled up at Colo promising the lad a run out with the team if he got better which was a lovely touch but as ah looked at the kid ah wondered how long he had left as he looked in a bad way. The lad took off his oxygen mask and whispered, "For shure, I feel like am getting better by the day, already I can breathe without it hurting." Ah thought he must be an asylum seeker as he didn't sound Geordie to me. Colo then said, "I heard Senor Charnally say that you would be like a new signing!" Carvs then jumped in, "Aye, that's right, Siem, Ah've been told by Lee Charnley to let the press know that you'll be a great lift to the team when you finally get fit again. A new signing is EXACTLY what you'll be like, bonny lad!" Siem!!! Fuck me! Ah looked at the kid then had a proper look at his hospital papers on the clip board ah was holding. Right enough, there it was at the top, his name, one Siem De Jong, once of Ajax of Amsterdam, now of the Royal Victoria Infirmary's first eleven! Ah got back to Thomson House HQ and then wrote up a report of Siem saying he was back in training and raring to go and reckoned he'd play again before the season finished! It was fantastic news for the Toon Army and ma loyal readers who, as always, got it straight from their main man, the trinity mirror group regional sports writer of the year, Lee Ryder esq. If it's about NUFC, Ryders got it covered! Lol. Laters.

FYP

The A team was fucking dire. Knight rider too. The programme about the super helicopter was a parcel as well. Oh, game of thrones is pretty crap while we're talking about it.

Not being funny, Stevie, my experience of stuff like this, I just hope you feel better after the memorial of your Dad. You've done your bit, you've been humbled by other peoples memories of your Dad/your families memories, and you've done him proud, mate. I've been to enough funerals where it's been a life affirming ceremony. Your Dad lives on as long as people share their memories/your memories of your Dad.

Oh, and :lol: while I remember.

I've been at work reading a bit of this thread so if I'm a few pages late, sorry. Dimps, me young mucker, can you tell me how things are going to be cushty darza for British workers under UKIP again? Can you tell me how a UKIP ran country, not in Europe would usher in new, strong trade unions to help the workers out? I do know that stuff like paid holidays and minimum wages were fought against by the Tories and I get the strange feeling that UKIP are a bit more to the right of politics than to the left. At least that's what I assume Farage meant when he said "I'm the only politician keeping the flame of Thatcherism alive". And we knew she was shit hot on good relations with trade unions don't we?