Howmanheyman

Cheers for the link. Wanted to put this here, too. (More disturbing than depressing). http://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2014/nov/11/secret-police-anti-blacklisting-unionist-state-conspiracy-cover-up?utm_content=bufferb8c77&utm_medium=social&utm_source=twitter.com&utm_campaign=buffer

The secret diary of Lee Ryder aged 44 and a half. 10/11/2014 Well today ah'd just got off the phone to Ruel Fox in one of my never-ending nineties-retro pieces, y'knaa, the real bread and butter stuff of a local, banned journalist, anything to put in tonight's Chronicle, anything to keep the Wolves, AKA John Gibson, from my door. Ah was about to write it up after ah got Foxy to agree to going for a pint with me next time he was up to which he readily agreed to, 'Err, sure, mate, err, yeah, whatever, Bro' were his exact words. Great kid, Foxy. Anyway, as ah was saying, ah was just about to write it up when ah gets a ring off me nark, Remi Streete. "Alright, Tubby? Can you sub iz a pony?" He said, "What have you got, like?" ah says, "It'll have to be good for that type of outlay." The kid doesn't appreciate the tight restrictions Thomson House has on the old expenses list, you need a letter of introduction just to buy a bacon sarnie on the tab these days. Anyway, he says there's a private Sun interview with one of our players about a gambling addiction. Explosive stuff! Ryder thinks his readership deserve to know more so I meets up with Remi outside The Old George and slip him his backhander. "Where's the interview and who is it?" Ah asks. Apparently it's that fat cunt Shaun Custis who's forgotten where he's came from with his posh Geordie accent he puts on for his so-called mates on The Sunday Supplement, and the 'Addict' is young Bigirimana. Fucking champion! They're meeting in Marco Polo's restaurant at 12.30 so I rush to the Joke shop near The Goose and buy a pair of false glasses and moustache then make my way to the famous Italian ristorante. The waiter takes me to a table which is on the opposite side to the restaurant where Bigi and even bigger are sitting. "How, Don Corleone! Ah want to sit ower there, instead" ah tells the waiter and he takes the hint and puts me near the pair of them, right in earshot. Custis despite being a fat cunt and forgetting his roots is still a journalist and looks slightly suspicious of me as I sit next to them with me false moustache and glasses get up but ah just pick the menu up and pretend to read it as Bigi spills the beans. By all accounts Bigi's up to his neck with the old scatchcards, in Forest Hall alone he owes Kulars £130 and Vic's Traders of Glebe Road, £38.50! The poor kids in tears as he spills his guts and Custis is loving it, loving the fact he's got the exclusive on this sensational story but he hasn't reckoned on the boy Ryder, the master of disguise and intrigue. Ah pays up the bill for me bottle of Peroni and Pizza Quattro Stagioni and head back to Thomson House to get the story out there before Custis. That's why not just anyone can be a journalist. It's dog eat dog, and Custis the labrador has just been mauled by the Ryder Staffy. Belta.

MOTD2/Collymore Logic: NUFC win five games in a row = fickle fans

'The Longest Day', yesterday. The old war films are still great to watch.

Loads of positives today, mind. Not wanting to get bogged down with Cabella.

Myfuckingeyes.com say otherwise.

Phone Collymore up right now, HF!!!!! He's talking utter, utter shit.

He might well do better, really hope he does, but we've obviously watched a different game today. (I watched it sober btw.)

Mackems fizzing at the slit by Craig Bellamy's pre-game bitter comments on NUFC. http://www.readytogo.net/smb/threads/craig-bellamy-sums-the-mags-up.990900/

Dummett did himself no harm at all again at centre half.

He was a liability, got himself in positions that were safe from a pass and when he did get the ball ran into the wrong space and when he did pass the ball on he gave it away, he was fucking terrible. I'm amazed you thought he was anything else? Granted, he put a great ball in during the second half at the back post but otherwise he was gash. I have said before, I've far more sympathy for new foreign players coming over here when they're defenders than I have for attacking players. The latter should have an advantage, the former shouldn't.

Absolute quality from Perez. This lad is a natural finisher. Great ball by Janmaat especially for the second. As soon as Williamson comes on they get space in behind us and nearly score. Cabella the only real downside today, the amount of times we lose possession through him is just too much.

Get a grip of your hondacrackas! NUFC are playing in the best league in the World in a few hours time. It's on sky.....and it's live! No idea of the team so far, no idea what to expect, although the wind has been blown around Pards tongue once again and he's talking about Steven Taylor playing for England. Law of averages say a defeat, I'll go for a draw at best.

For fuck sake, someone give him some reviews, man.

"Ah prefer ma Whisky wi Scotland's finest, Irn bru" Piss heed thread or snobby drinkers thread? YOU decide!

Saw a weird looking band in my local the other day, they had all the Teddy boy gear on and were playing old covers like 'Three Steps to heaven', 'Blue Moon' and 'Let's go for a little walk, under the moon of love' etc. They were all dressed like Teddy Boy's with one weird exception, their heads and shoulders was covered by a Burka. Everyone one of the band! It started to make sense when I saw the band's name on a set of drums.

It is if you want it to be, sweetcheeks.

February, mores the pity.

http://www.themag.co.uk/the-mag-articles/newcastle-midfielder-tells-banned-paper-stop-making-stories-vurnon-anita/? The secret diary of Lee Ryder aged 44 and a half. 05/10/2014 Well diary, ah had a bit of a field trip today in the never ending quest to keep my readers up to date with all things black & white, where did ah gan, eh? St. James' Park? Benton training ground? a NUFC presser? Nah, none of that shit, Ryder's well ahead of the game, ah set off to the Metrocentre to kill two birds with one stone, one is to get some NUFC info, the other is to get me Mam something forra birthday. Ah walk into Nando's to get some scran and then eat and wait, ah wait to grab a surprise interview with the first player that I see in there. Ah'm no mug, ah knaa there'll be one along soon, there always is. Ah'm halfway through me Butterfly Burger, a freshly baked Portuguese roll loaded with skin-on, flame-grilled chicken breasts, topped with tomato and lettuce. It's big. It's available on its own or with 1 or 2 regular sides. Ah plumps for garlic bread and fries on the side and have the chicken extra hot as what's the point in being a fanny? Anyway, as ah says, ah'm halfway through it when bingo! Mehdi Abeid walks in! Ah grabs me plate and sits next to him, "Mehdi!, How's it going, mate? Great game the other day, mate! Fucking class you looked." Abeid starts to say something about fancying a Burger King instead and is about to make a sharp exit when ah have to interrupt him as ah spot a little black waiter walking past the table, "How! Chief! Can you give iz another bottle of Sagres beer? Cheers, Sinbad!" All of a sudden, the 'Waiter' stares at me and says, "IT'S YOU!!" Ah then look at him properly and fuck me, it's only Vurnon Anita! Bastard! Ah'd only written a story about him being sick at being dropped and kicking Pard's door down. It was my nark, Remi streete who told me but ah was only half listening and it turns out it was a pile of shite. Anyways, 'Big' Vurns doing his nut. "You are a dishgrashe to your profeshhhsion! How could I kick ze door down when I am only five foot four, for shure." I bite the bullet and leave hoping for better luck later on. I do however, manage to buy me Mam a nice vase from the Swarovski shop so it wasn't a totally wasted trip. The chicken butterfly was canny anarl. Laters.

Fish, I know these type of films are the genre you love, but you'd be in one hell of a dilemma if they made a new superhero type film called 'SuperScouseMan'.

Oh! And congratulations to Andrew. It's an exciting time getting your first place. (Mind, they reckon the local ice-cream van plays this music......)

My mate had a YTS job in a morgue when he was 18. One day out of curiousity he lifted up the blanket on a good looking deceased woman to see what he thought was a prawn on her fanny! He went running through to tell his supervisor that there a prawn on her 'front bottom' and when the supervisor saw it he laughed and said, "Son, that's a clitoris, not a prawn!" My mate seemed a bit embarrassed and mumbled, "Well it definitely tasted like a prawn." I'll get me coat.