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Howmanheyman

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Everything posted by Howmanheyman

  1. Hmmmn........Might be the other way around if things go a little bit Brokeback Mountain. See how it goes.
  2. Modern day fans need to just do as they're told. http://www.chroniclelive.co.uk/news/north-east-news/newcastle-united-fans-fury-letter-8361431? No expense spared with the leaflet.
  3. Seven and a half minutes in.......Genuinely amazed at an 'outsider' putting a cockney gobshite right and sticking up for us. Cockney gobshite starts off. http://talksport.com/radio/listen-again/1419933600# (Click on the 10.30-11.00 link when you get to the page or you'll have to listen to half an hour of shite)
  4. "Stevie! Fancy a pint, mate? Stevie! Stevie! What the fuck are you drinking there? That's foul so it is!"
  5. http://www.chroniclelive.co.uk/sport/football/football-news/newcastle-united-players-shocked-alan-8359184 The secret diary of Lee Ryder aged 44 and a half. 29/12/2014 Wow, just wow, never any real quiet days round the monster that is Newcastle United football club and today it just got bigger and more explosive. Pards is leaving! Ah got a call from my nark, Remi Streete, he said I needed to get down to the Tyne Bridge ASAP! Ah nearly told him that ah'm unbanned now so would be frying bigger fish than Remi but my journalistic super senses kicked in like a late tackle from the Yorkshire terrier of the entertainer years, one Mr David Batty. Ah hang up on the Mag starlet and hotfoot it down to the Tyne Bridge quicker than Craig Bellamy did out the foyer of St. James' with big Al close behind, face contorted with anger. Ah gets closer and closer to the middle of the bridge and ah hears the soothing Geordie voice of Toon coach, John 'Carvs' Carver talking to a pair of slumped over players who were gently sobbing. Ah hides behind a girder and listened in, not gentlemanly conduct, not something Carvs old boss, Sir Bobby would condone, but you don't get the Trinity Mirror groups regional sportswriter of the year by being Mr Nice Guy. Ah hears Carvs say to one player who I won't name in print, "Hey iron man, divvent worry, man! Ah'l be bound to be in temporary charge forra while, you might still get a game, man, divvent fret, son." Willo replied, "I aint frettening nobody, Coach, I aint got it in me. I'm a good boy, so my old mum would say". Carvs just replies, "Nar, man! Not 'threat', Ah meant 'Fret', y'knaa, worry, like. Son, you're going to have to get used to talking English again now that Pards is fucking off." Wow!!! Pards is fucking off!!! unbelievable! No sooner is Ryder back in the fold then the King is dead! Ah had a feeling he'd be worried about me presence back in the press room but ah thought he'd show a bit more fight than that. Ah suppose ah kinda underestimate the powerful position ah have in the North-East media. Anyway, just as ah'm about to leave ah hear a French voice cry out, "But Coach John, a 'ave no chance of playing in ze team now. Oooo in their right mind will pick me? I do not score le goals, i do mark my players so well, I am in a bad moment and have been merde for fucking months, mon ami, I am finished! Finished I tell you!" before crying uncontrollably. Again Carvs soothing voice tried to calm down the distraught United star. "Gouffs, son. You'll play again, man, i'm sure you will. Don't let it get to you, man. Howay, let's head back home." Ah quickly legs it out the way and get back to Thompson House HQ before Carver spots iz, wouldn't want a dig off him, like. Fair enough, Ah'd take him, but he might be the next boss man of the Cathedral on the hill, never burn your bridges Ollie once said, that's as a good excuse as any. Ah gets back and break the news to ma loyal readers that'll blow them away and light the fuse on the blue touch paper of Geordie TNT! Ryder and out.
  6. Aye but still, he's going up against the wall come the revolution.
  7. Obviously won't say 'we was' like Pardew, obviously. Will say obviously more often than the cockney wanker, obviously. That's three.
  8. He's not talking about Cisse to be honest, just slagging our fans, club etc.
  9. You want to hear collymore now. What a fucking wanker this bloke is.
  10. This would be as mad as us paying Blackburn for Souness.
  11. I've got Johnny Giles I'll remember more fondly than this fucker. Fanks for the memories, Pards!
  12. "Ah think the new man has to be former Toon maestro, Lee 'Jigsaw' Clark, in a poll ah did earlier on outside The New Coach Inn, Cockeyed Mala said he was just the man we needed, Paul Mcdonald said could ah sub him a tenner and Betty asked if ah could pass her a beer mat over. Ah think that's a pretty conclusive vote of confidence for the Walker superstar."
  13. Sherwood. One smarmy cockney cunt to another. It's Ashley's way.
  14. If you had to pick a football stadium where you'd see these selfie sticks..........
  15. Getting rid of Pards would be a start, you just have to hope they stumble across someone better as I've no doubt they couldn't get a good manager by design.
  16. I don't believe in anti-climaxes. But aye, I'll be stopping in.
  17. If someone paid us to take Pardew off our hands then it would be right up there with Shepherd paying Blackburn to take Souness away from them.
  18. http://www.croydonadvertiser.co.uk/Alan-Pardew-accept-Palace-offer-Newcastle-target/story-25775320-detail/story.html?
  19. Funny, first I'd seen one was boxing day as well. Had pub meal with the family and saw a lass with one. Wife knew about them but I'd no idea till then. I wonder if Stevie got one?
  20. Just to add that I always like hearing NJS take on things NUFC.
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