Howmanheyman

Cattermole will be relieved, now.

I knew they did us by three down there, aye you're right about the score. I blame the drink.

They were both bad Betty's from Murray and Reid was it?

Leazes end, 0-3 against Notts fucking County and Warnock I think. First ever FA cup penalty shoot out in there v Bournemouth the start of a tradition of losing them most times.

I can. How much did they pay for Gordon and Flo?

They put em under pressure for Big Jack, to be sure, to be sure.

The good thing about then is that you could sometimes have a change of scenery. Mostly went in the corner, sometimes the scoreboard, when I was stuck you could go in the tranquil Gallowgate west terrace and once in a blue moon in the Leazes near the away fans, (not that there used to be many most games, Arsenal going for the title only bringing a few hundred for example).

It's an Irish accent like Rob Elliot and Andy Townsend.

Maybe its just the accent. At least he's no Owen to be fair.

Why's the scoreboard, Why's the scoreboard, Why's the scoreboard full of shit? Why's the scoreboard full of shit? The corner! The corner! The corner! (Happier times)

Watching Roma v Juventus on BT. Good build up as usual, no James Richardson but Lynsey Hipgrave (yes please) is a decent stand in, Gab Marcotti and James Horncastle? Are always worth listening to. However, the co-commentator is err, Matt Holland. why?

Err, Charnley is calling Ryder by surname, Ryder is calling Charnley by his Christian name. No need to apologise.

A mystery club insider reckons closer to £30M.

There's a one next to Wicks near the Silverlink called 'Nosh' which always turns me into Finbarr Saunders when I drive past.

I hear CSD and KCG do a great tobacco/semen exchange at the minute, otherwise just go with one of the main supermarkets/travel agents etc.

Will Golden Virginia be ok?

The secret diary of Lee Ryder aged 44 and a half. 01/03/2015 Well diary, writing this later than ah originally planned as ah had an inpromptoo, impropererlyytoo, err, unprepared interview as ah left the North East Media nerve centre in the Bigg Market yesterday. Ah had a camera pushed in me face as ah left Thomson House after penning the match report about Carvs heroes as they dished up a sweet dish of ice cold revenge on Aston Villa which ah maximised to the full about their part in THAT game at Villa Park back in 2009. Anyways, as ah was leaving the building ah noticed the bigg Market was a bit busier than normal with a few bizzies flying about. Ah was approached by this lass with a microphone, not sure who she was, like, but she was making a beeline for yours truly so she obviously recognised me. Ah noticed a BBC cameraman with her so thought she must want my take on the game and maybe something more as well ah reckoned as ah quickly checked me pockets for me Chronicle cards with me number on it so she could phone iz later for a real one to one. She goes up to iz and asks, "Can I have a quick chat? A quick interview about today?" Ah replies that she could chat anytime she wanted and straight away the Ryder charm kicked in with full effect. "Okay", she said, continuing on with "What do you think today will accomplish and what is it it against Islam you have?" Ah scratched me head as even ah thought that was a daft question about the game but you just can't knock the Knight Ryder and ah hit straight back with me telling her ah had nowt against Islam as long as the Toon hotshot from Senegal, one Papiss Cisse, the number nine hitman continued hitting winners for Carvs lads. She then looked a bit bewildered but carried on, ah obviously linked her Muslim question to the Toon too quick for her and she must've been a bit amazed how quick ah am. She then says, "Why is it that Pegida seems to attract so many skinheads like yourself?" "Pegida?" Ah says, "Is that the new bar doon by the Quayside? Ah'm attracted to any bar to be honest, pet, as long as their rammed with the fine female forms of lasses like your good self." ah says laying the Ryder patter on like a fucking trowel. She then looked confused again and thanked me for my time before moving onto another skinhead who had a St George flag wrapped round his waist. Strange ah thought, ah divvent think he works for the Ronny Gill or Journal, what does she want his views for? Ah then hot footed it to a public phone box as had a letter telling me to go there for some incredible info on the next manager of the Cathedral on the hill of the Gallowgate end. Ah gets to the phone at the appointmen, appointy, at the time they'd said. The phone rang and ah picked up on the third ring as they telt iz to do. "Hello, it's Ryder, award winning sports journalist. Talk to me." The voice said, "Allo allo! Listen carefully, I shall say zis only wernce. Remi Garde was at ze Etihad for ze Man City versus Newcastle game. Please inform your readers, Monsieur Ryder." Ah began to tell him he was too late as ah had ALREADY done that and kept my loyal readers up to date with the news he was spotted although ah never mentioned that every fucka watching on Sky knew it as their cameras spotted him but ah knaa that my readers want to hear the Ryder take on things so ah put it on the back page anyway as a filler story in between me Sir Les piece about how KK's entertainers came so close to gory in THAT season back in '96. Ah wondered who the voice was and was going to ask but the Frog hung up on me. Strange times but ah keep on delivering for my loyal punters as per normal, right on the fucking button. Ryder and out.

Sorry to hear about your loss also, AH.

I'm glad you're not American. You'd have been on the news by now.

They get well paid, go to the oscars to tell each other how lush they all are, and when a Brit wins it expect an over the top, upper middle class buffoon speech just to ham it up for the Yanks. No working class actors in Britain, is there?

Maybe he thinks things can only get better?

Happy Birthday, Cath!! (I've made the letters big as we know what makes you blind, don't we, hmmnn........?)

http://www.chroniclelive.co.uk/sport/football/football-news/five-issues-newcastle-united-must-8699586#rlabs=2 So one of the issues the club need to sort out before Villa is to deny they're in league with the Ronny Gill with the aim of getting Carver the job full time? Or is that just a rattled Trinity Mirror regional sports writer feeling the heat? I've also read issue number three a few times and yes it's late, but it doesn't make sense. Should he put 'That it's' in between the word budget' and the word 'putting'?